ischupid.
ischupid ang tawag sa taong hindi natututo sa mga kamalian at katangahang pinaggagagawa niya sa buhay.
ischupid ang manhid.
ischupid ang walang alam sa mundo.
ischupid ang nagmamarunong.
ischupid ang magtype sa word ng napakahaba, tapos hindi i-ssave.
ischupid ang mawalan ng phone.. ng dalawang beses.
ischupid ang taong merong magagawa, pero wlang ginagawa.
ischupid ang tamad.
ischupid ang gumastos ng pera sa wlang kapararakang bagay.
ischupid ang bumili gn libro, tapos hindi babasahin.
ischupid ang mag-demand ng walang karapatan.
ischupid ang magpromise, tapos hindi tutuparin.
ischupid ang mag-expect.
ischupid ang mataas ang pride.
ischupid ang laging galit.
ischupid ang masyadong vain.
ischupid ang insecure.
ischupid ang pabaya.
ischupid ang hindi marunong tumanggap ng pagkakamali.
ischupid ang hindi nkaka-appreciate ng kung ano mang meron siya ischupid ang pasaway.
ischupid ang pasaway na nananaway.
ischupid ang hindi marunong magspell ng ischupid.
ischupid ako..

minsan..
madalas..

eh ngayon kaya?
Ischupid pa rin ba..

Hmmmmmmm..
how can someone be stupid,
when she just made the best decision
she ever had in her life:

she fell in love.

in love..

inlove daw ako..

o tlga.. ewan ko.. dko alam..
cguro nga.. oo..

pero sa dami ng gnagawa dko na alam
kung ano na ang, "oo".. sa "hinde"

pero masaya ako.
sobrang saya.

kung kasiyahan lang ang batayan..
abot hanggang langit ang pagmamahal ko na cguro sa kanya.

siyet.
wait lang.
pag-iisipan ko muna.

iisipin pa ba?

mahirap masaktan.
ayokong
masaktan.
nanaman...

e pero kse..
natatawa ako..
pag gising sa umaga.
siya.
bago kumain.
siya.
papasok sa school.
siya.
magtetest..
sy.. ooops.. tama na ang pag-iisip..
test muna!
nasa jeep.. nasa fx..
siya na namn.
uuwi sa gabi.
matutulog..
siya. siya. siya.
ano ba! tama na!

either way..
huli na ang lahat.

naisip ko na.
at naramdaman pa.

MAHAL KO NGA TALAGA.

filling in the empty spaces..

good.

i'd be okay.

The Difference Between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions:

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). In order to solve this problem, they hired Andersen Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade and 12 million dollars. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, under water, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

The Russians, well, they used a pencil...

Take this pain away..
Take it.

Take my heart in your hands.
Take every beat.

Take me in your arms.
Take me now.

Let this be my plea
And hear me.

Take me. My heart, my soul..
And I?m yours and yours alone.
Won?t you please hear me

got a new cellphone.
eveyrone says im so lucky.. im blessed.
only a week after i got robbed
(it was more like a blessing in disguise, dahil sira na yung phone na yun, and i've been meaning to get rid of it, dahil magastos kung ipapagawa ko pa),
napalitan na kaagad yung phone ko.
When i got home, it was there carefully given in a paper bag.
And i dont even have to ask for it.

Sabi nila lahat daw ng gusto ko, nabibigay sakin.
Pag ako ang humingi, dumadating.
Pag ako ang nagsabi, nangyayari.
Pagdating sakin, lahat daw madali.
Lahat daw ako ang favorite:
favorite anak, favorite pamangkin, favorite kapatid, favorite pinsan, favorite friend, favorite kausap, favorite katawanan, favorite iyakan, favorite kasama.

im not spoiled.
im not an ass.
im far from being a brat.
i dont give people a hard time.
and i could be the most loveable person.
if i want to.

i may have all these.. pero bakit ganon..

i still dont have you.

*****
clarification:

i dont get everything i want.
hindi lahat naibibigay sa akin. i just dont ask much, that's why. at madali akong matuwa sa maliliit na bagay. at masaya na rin ako kahit papano sa kung ano man ang meron ako.

i hate being sad. i hate it when im the reason of someone being sad. kaya as much as possible, ayoko nang may kaaway.
ANG NKAKAINTINDI, YUN ANG UMINTINDI.

i still don't have him.
sino ba yung 'him'? hindo ka pa rin alam.. haha, labo!
sucks... yes. pero okay lang, i still have the best the world could offer me, and that's the gift of unconditional love my family and friends give me.

And i couldn't ask for anything more. :)

darn it..
bat ako pa..
bakit ako pa ang kinuhaan mo ng phone.
leche ka..
ayoko pa naman nang nagmumura
pero napilitan ako,
dahil leche ka tlga..

kaasar ka.
gggrrrrrrrrrrrrr ka.
arrrrrgggggghhhhh!
madulas ka sana.

sana kailanagn na kaialngan mo lng tlga ng pera.
sana mabusog ka
sana ipambili mo sya ng damit, o kaya
ipang-iskwela.. mo, o nang kapatid mo, o anak mo..
basta sana, nakatulong ako.
at napabuti ka.

siyet ka, asar pa rin.
phone ko un!


****
kung nag-aral sana ako,
mataas sana ang nakuha ko sa test.
perfect ko ung first part, bokya naman sa second part.
malay ko ba, wla akong copy nung ibang terms dun.

***
wala akong phone.
but i handled it gracefully.
thanx sa mga friends ko na tumulong sa pagpapasaya sakin.
dko masyadong naramdaman ung bigat ng kamalasan.

---------------------

im meeting ava, marian, mac at starbucks today.. yey! :)

---------------------

saddest lines

"I love you.. simply because I know no other way of loving. In which there is no I or you; so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand. So intimate that when I fall asleep, it is your eyes that close."
-Pablo Neruda

letter

Dearest,

When you left. My world went to a halt.
a lit cigarette isn't the same without you.
My coffee is bland without you stealing a sip from it.
Everything seems to float in a vast emptiness.
And time seems to be too fast..
or seem to be too slow.
Suddenly, im lost.
And then I realized,
I have to do something.

I never thought a piece of paper can someday save me.
So after all is said (and yes, all is done)
I just have to let you know:

I love you.
With all that is me, I love you.

I know you must have had heard this a hundred, or a thousand times even from other people whose life you've touched.
you were never really hard to love..
I guess, every I love you spoken, every I love you written, every I love you acted upon has their own story.
And sometimes you may think, that they're all the same.

You once said to me over coffee,
"no 'I love you' is forever. Someday one way or another someone would want to get out, because one was loved too much or the other was loved too little. And then I love you would be just a bunch of words gathered to form a sentence."
You chuckled right after.
I don't know if you were just saying that to spite me, you've always loved teasing me.
You argue for the sake of arguing.
But on that moment, I took what you said by heart, it kept me awake that night after you insist to take me home,
like you always do.

But now I can tell you with all my heart,
that this I love you is different.
This is unlike all the others, sweet and gentle and heart-warming.
What I have is not just a feeling that is bursting to be known.
This is more than the getting-it-over-and-done-with.
For this one I say with nothing expecting in return.

My I love you is not just a bunch of words.
My I love you is a testimonial.
It is a testament of everything that has been, is being.. and will be.
My I love you is waiting for nothing,
is asking for nothing.
For I am contented just knowing that this reached you.
Whole.
Sincere.
Uncorrupted with my need for you to love me in return.

I'm grateful you came into my life.
And you never thought this I love you
would come from your bestfriend.

----------------------
for ava

things that matters:

Things that matters

there are moments in life when everything seems to be clear.
but then even if it is so.. you still don't know what to do.
and then it would confuse you all over again.

ang daming bagay na naiisip,
pero ang daming bagay na hindi mailabas.

ang sarap magpakasama.. dahil naiinggit ka.
lagi kang naiingit.. dahil wala kang ginagawa.
wala kang ginagawa.. dahil natatakot ka.

akala mo okay.. pero hindi pala, kaya minsan its good to stop and focus on the details first, before looking at the picture as a whole.

The Lord will always be your refuge.

nothing beats hearing someone say "i Love you"
and meaning it.

sometimes a simple smile, a hug, and the mere presence of a friend can make a big difference.


**********

there are some days na naiisip ko ano nga ba ang meaning ng buhay.

sasaya ka.. masasaktan ka..
ibibigay... kukunin din pala..
aalis.. babalik..
babalik.. aalis..
mahirap.. masarap..
madilim.. maliwanag..
mabilis.. minsan mabagal..
para sayo.. hindi para sayo..
magulo.. malinaw.

parang isang napakalakaing contradiction ang buhay.
minsan maiisip mo nalang.. "is it really worth it?"
lahat ng kaguluhan? kalokohan? kabaliwan?
and one may even ask..
"what's the point?"

experience.

its being able to interact.
its knowing that you know.
its feeling that you feel.
its being.

its going through it all.

one may still add.
"i didn't ask for this."

you didnt. but yet you were given.
you dont even have to ask. it was there carefully laid in front of you.
it's free. no charge.
then only thing one can do
is to accept it, and be greatful gor it.

sometimes we dont know blessings even if it hit us right smack at the face.

may isang makulit na magatatanong..
"i still don't get it."

may mga bagay na hindi natin maiintindihan.
may mga bagay na kahit anong ratinalization at pagcconceptualize ang gawin mo, eh malabo pa rin.

dahil hindi naman lahat ng bagay dapat iniintindi.

~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I wonder, "how much more stupid can I get?"

I sit dazedly on the sofa chair, clutching my cellphone as if the answers to all my life's question depends on it.

Alanis morisette's "Everything" was playing on the radio.
"...you see everything u see every part
you see all my light and u love my dark..."

I imagine him somewhere, singing this song, devoting every word to me. His declaration of love bursting.
Great... now im having hallucinations.

"...and you're still here."
Yeah... i'm still here.

"it's funny, how some dreams you never had can come true."

totoong kung ano pa ung pinapangarap natin, yun pa yung hndi nangyayari. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit.

or minsan ung mga hindi natin ineexpect, yun ang nagaganap.

cguro rin,
dahil pwede ring mangyari sa atin ang higit pa sa pinapangapangarap natin.

maybe..

We deserve more.

INSIDE the University, Marianne Quadrangle.

I watched Nathan, basist of the band Bamboo, casually lit a cigarette while performing..



Im missin Aie.

this is a forwarded e-mail Almira sent me
kahit na forwarded lang sya, i know she meant every word.
and im touched. deeply.

***
I JUST want to say "thank you." Thank you that we were always there for each other. In the short span of time that you've known me and I've known you, our very lives have been open to the other. An open book filled with creases and markings. Even the loose tattered pages we've allowed each other to see and to explore. Those pages whose colors have faded into yellowish brown, filled with cheap adhesive tape just to keep the pieces together. The translucent path covered by the tape bearing memories upon memories of mixed emotions. I have those pages in me. Torn pages from my own hands and from the hands I encountered long before I met you. Pages I've tried to conceal, pages I've tried to forget. But you continued to read on in spite of that. I have beautiful pages inside me too. Colorful pages filled with my own handwriting as I try to put into words the wonderful memories that I simply refuse to let go. You smiled with me as you came along these pages. Silly things that make my eyes water from so much laughter. Thank you for smiling with me as I re-read and relive those wonderful moments. Thank you for allowing me to turn a few pages in you too. I saw the pages that caused you so much pain, and I ached for you. I saw the pages that used to warm your heart, and I feel for you because those moments are no longer part of you now. I came along pages that you've tried to conceal from them, yet you trustfully allowed me to see, and I thank you for that. Thank you for the pages and thank you for the trust. And just when we thought that we had each other all figured out, we realized we're both wrong. For you cannot completely read me, and I, you, for as we turn each other's pages, new pages are born and added. And those pages are filled with both our handwritings. Pages we are yet to read, pages whose contents are still unknown to us. Thank you for marking my life. Though the pages we share are all brand new, they're filled with prints from the wonderful person I've found in you. As we continue to read on, I know there will be pages that will be hard for us to face. But whatever happens, I'll continue to believe in that person I met in the early part of these pages. The person whom I've come to treasure. And after all this is over, as we continue to turn our own pages, until we arrive at the closing chapter of this journey, I'll thank Him who is the author and finisher of this grand story for taking His time writing on those pages I've shared with you. Ours will be one of those pages I'll never get tired of reading, of reliving. Ours will be pages that will never fail to bring tears to my eyes as I recall fond memories. Ours will be pages that will never fail to make me smile. And though our pages are not as intertwined as we sometimes hope they were, though there is no "us" but only me and only you, though the stories are all about these wonderful pages of friendship... still, thank you for taking time to read me. And after all this, I hope that whenever you'll think of my pages, it will bring a smile to your face and add a little warmth in your heart, and you'll say, "That was indeed a good read!"

first day of classes. all went well.

we watched Shrek.
hehe. sobrang laugh trip.

"pinocchio! tell a lie!!"
say something like, ur wearing panties!"
"im wearing panties."
hndi humaba ang nose ni pinochs.
"ur wearing panties??"
"no im not."
sabay humaba ung nose nya.. hahaha!
"he's wearing a thong!!" hehehe, i never laughed that hard.

shrek. priceless. i love shrek tlga.

paid tin. finally.
attended all my classes for the day. (with no lates!)
smiled and laughed.
borrowed a pen (twice).
my crush texting me.
bought a 35 peso meal. (hah!)
watched a feel good movie.
went to starbucks.
ate ice buko.
been around with my best girlfrnds.
went home late, but safe.

bliss.

election day.

i found my name posted on the door, room 4.
nahiwalay pako sa family ko. i dont know why, pero kinailangan ko pa tuloy, pumila ulit sa kabilang room.

mainit.
good thing, may pamaypay ako.

***
"ha?"
wala daw, ung name ko sa list nila.

di ako makapaniwala.
You're kidding me. You can't be saying this to me. Not now.

"pano po nangyari yon, nandun po sa door ung name ko.. pakitingin po ulit, 35-B numbr 28.."

they looked. Wala.

"pano po yan.."
they just looked at me, and shrugged.

huwattt?? ganon-ganon nlang ba yon.
sorry, ur name's not here. Next.

i felt my world crashing.
i felt.. cheated.
pinaghandaan ko tong araw na to. (okay not really)
pero i made it sure to mytself that im goin to make my vote count.
i wont let them get the best of me.
and besides i didn't go there for nothing.
natapakan, nainitan, nasiksik, pumila ng napakatagal..
mauuwi lang sa wala?
darn it.
no i wont let this happen.
BOBOTO AKO.
i stayed there.
i gave them the look.
mga teacher pa nman din kayo..
don't let me down.

******
the teachers asked me to just bring someone there who can prove that i am really a resident of the community.
mas okay daw kung public official.
my father came.
"ako po ang ama." siyet, para akong nawawalang bata.
they made him write into a piece of paper, para daw makasigurado in case something went wrong.

i made my way through the small pews.
im voting.

***
president. check.
vice. check.
darn senators. check.
congressman. mayor. vicemayor.
check. check. check.
getty. check.

relief rush through me, as i scanned my vote.
done. tapos na.
I vote. Therfore, i exist.
haha. basta! nagawa ko na!
nagawa ko ung part ko. naks.
it was, honestly, a great feeling.

haaaay.. im back from Bohol..
malungkot na masaya,

masaya dahil, syempre, im back home. makaksama ko na ulit un family ko. yung mga friends ko na naiwan dito sa manila.
malungkot dahil, kailangan ko na namng harapin ang mga problemang iniwan ko. marami na naman akong iisipin.

Malayo na ako sa paraiso.

kung maririnig mo ang bisaya sa maynila.. nakow, asahan mo, may maririnig ka ring ngisngisang kasunod.
iba sa bohol. lahat ng tao, nagbibisaya. lahat komportableng-komportable sa mga salitang binibigkas nila. at pag ikaw ang nagtagalog.. huh??? you're the odd one. Parang gusto ko ngang matutong magbisaya.. kaso ang hirap. mga simpleng words lang ang natatandaan ko. minsan napagbabalibaliktad ko pa. "lami: sarap" "ambot: ewan" "char: charot/charing/joke" "JRJR: joy ride joy ride" "gerger: sex" "nasabot: naintindihan" expression: "hala, oy.." "sige na bhe.."

nakakatuwa sila.. makikita mo tlga yung effort na makausap ka nila, kahit mejo hirap silang magtagalog. at talagang i-eexplain nila sayo yung mga bisayan words, para maintindihan mo. sila pa yung nahihiya samin. when we should be the ones embarassed.

haaayy.. mababait tlga yung mga tao.. pwera lang yung bosohan issue. bad trip yun.

Day 2

ang bait naman. sobrang accomodating.
parang pwede ko na silang bigyan ng medalya o higit pa, sa sobrang pag-aasikaso samin.

Warm smile.. *twink*twink* haaaay.. nakakagaan ng loob. Nakakatuwa sila. Wish ko sana Lolo, Lola, Tatay, Kuya, ate, pinsan ko rin sila.
100 million points for making us feel at home. kahit may language barrier okay lang. Ngiti lang nila. Ayos na.

*na-mimiss ko si Mama.. Na-mimiss ko yung may lola..


*********
habal-habal.
masaya yung habal-habal. kasama ko si almira na nakaangkas sa motor.
ahahahha. At si manong.. We had a moment.

Destination: Krus Daku. (Big Cross)
as expected.
na-amaze na naman ako.. ang ganda ng view.
ang sarap siguro, if i was with a special someone there.
shweet-shweet!!

hiking pababa.
Shux. Tagaktak ang pawis ko.
todohang lakaran to. okay lang. it was a great experience.
and besides makakatulong un sa figure ko. hhihihihihi.

next: off to panglao!!!!
beach!!!!!
breath taking. un lang.

inuman nung gabi.
it was nice bein there with your closest friends.
talking about things. things that matters. things that dont.
hehehe. ang saya..

kami nila almira at donna.. nagstay until mga 3 ata..
la alng.. nakahiga lang sa sand..

Day 1

I cant believe it.
Im flying.
Or so, im in a flying aircraft.
I grasp Janis hand. HARD.
A mixture of excitement, fear, and disbelief engulfed me.
Hindi ako makapaniwala. Im defying gravity. Im conquering my fear of heights. And my fear of doing things on the first time. It’s the fear of uncertainty, of not knowing what will happen next, of feeling emotions I am not familiar of..

Pwede ka pa lang ma-amaze sa isang bagay at sitwasyon ng sobra sobra.
Kakaiba yung pakiramdam na kahit papano hindi nakadepende ang mga paa mo sa lupang kinatayuan mo.

I cant take my eyes off the clouds. Ayoko, minsan lang to.
No I wont sleep.. ZZzzzZZzzzZzzzzZzz..
Haha, mga excited kse.. hndi nagsipagtulog.

Iba yung feeling habang kumakain ng rainbow bites, at umiinom ng zesto apple, habang masikip ang seatbelt mo, nakatingin sa mala-langit na scenery sa labas ng bintana ng eroplano, at habang payapang natutulog ang katabi mo na kanina lang ay mahigpit mong hinahawakan. iba tlga.. lalo na kung perstym.

It's true that most of the things we worry about, are not even worth worrying for.

I made it. buong-buo... at bingi.

*Bakit ganon.. parang lahat ng bagay may kapalit..

Good points:
Bakasyon
Sa wakas.. wla na akong iintindihin.
Hndi nako ggising ng maaga.
Wala ng mga nakakalokong tests
In aj and crystal's words:
Hindi nako "mawiwindang".

Bohol
This is the one thing that im looking forward to
(since the cellphone issue)
ito ang pinapangapangarap kong paraiso.

Friends
Si Marian and Ava, they just make my life bearable. Everything seems to be wonderful kpag kasama ko sila.
Donna and Almira
Kahapon, na-meet nila c marian and ava.
They clicked.
Ang saya-saya ko..
There's nothing better than having your closest friends be friends with your other closest friends.
Tuwang-tuwa tlga ko nung gabing yon.
It brought me to a natural high. Bliss.

Bad points:
Im broke.
Wala ako, ni singkong duling.
Ang hirap nang hindi mo mabili yung mga gusto mo.
Yung mga pangangailangan mo.
Yung tipong bibili nalang ng chichirya jan sa kanto, dmo pa magawa.
Nanghihinayang kang umalis dahil sayang sa pamasahe.
Gustong-gusto mong tawagan at itxt ung mga taong malapit sayo, pero di mo magawa dahil for the nth time, na-cut ang line mo.

Graduate na cla almira, donna, at tina. LOA naman si racquel.
I'll miss them so much, just thinking about it, hurts.

I failed a major class..
Expsych. Hndi ko alam kung pano sasabihin sa parents ko.
Lalo na ngayon. Walang-wala kami.
At wala na rn akong mukhang maihaharap.
Maglilihim na nmn ako..

The cellphone issue
Once again..Umasa na nman ako..Naghangad masyado.. Nadisapoint. Napahiya.
Fuck.

Passing away of a friend.
Seeing a dear friend suffer.. grieve.
And not being able to do anything.

I failed a friend.
I hurt a friend.
Aie, of all people..
Nakalimutan ko sya.. hindi ko naisip ung mararamdaman nya..
Parang diko kayang humarap sa kanya at sabihing
"Pasensya na.. nagkakamali rn ako."
There's nothing worse than hurting someone you love.

Shame.

Letting my parents down.
Letting a friend down.
Letting myself down.

Feeling worthless.

Trying to be perfect. And not even getting close.

Crying.. and still feel worse.

********

SA BAWAT ARKO NG ISANG NGITI,
ISANG BASO NG LUHA..

It broke my heart.

Kung sakin mangyayari yon.. hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

Bakit ganon.. bakit kailangan pang mangyari sa mga tao ang ganon..
Lalo na kung hindi pa nila deserve yon.
Minsan naguguluhan ako sa mundo..
Sa Diyos..
Bakit Nya hinahayaang masaktan ung mga taong mahal nya..
Bakit Nya hinahayaang mapahamak ung mga taong wala namang ginagawang masama..

Jason does not deserve to be in that hospital.
Hindi nya deserve na ma-coma..
He got so many more things to do.. to prove.. to share.. to give.. to offer.
Bakit sya pa..

Sa totoo lang, I don't know him personally..
Pero a part of me, aches for Him.. For ava..
It's unfair.

Lahat daw ng bagay may rason..
Narealize ko, tama nga ung sinabi ng prof ko..
Na kapag sayo na ngyari.. No reason can ever suffice para mahimasmasan o gumaan ang hirap na madarama mo sa mga sitwasyon na ganito.
Kung ako nga nasasaktan para sa isang taong hindi ko nman kilala..
Papano pa kaya si ava..

Jason loves her. And she loves jason. At kung meron man akong love story na super kaiinggitan,
It's Jason and Ava's.
Kaya hindi ko tlga lubos maisip kung bakit kailangan pang mangyari ang ganito.. Bakit sa kanila pa..

Bakit kailangan pang may masaktan..
Bakit may pagdurusa..
Bakit ang hirap-hirap..

Sasabihin may rason.
Pero ang mga rason na yon.. ang hirap tanggapin..
At kahit mahirap.. Kahit hirap na hirap ka na..
Kailangan mo pa ring magpakatatag..
Kailangan mong tumayo.. at magpakatapang.
Kailangan mong tumanggap.
Dahil ganyan ang buhay.. May saya.. May lungkot..
May pagsubok.
pero sa bawat sakit nman na mararamdaman mo, may karamay ka..
you will never be alone.

so if you love someone...
Ipadama mo na mahal mo sila.
Ipadama mo na their presence made a big difference in your life.
Ipadama mo kung gaano ka kasaya na nakilala mo sila.
Ipadama mo kung gaano mo sila kamahal.
kung gaano sila kaimportante sa buhay mo.
Dahil Hindi mo alam,
Na sa isang rason lang,
Pwede silang mawala sayo..

***************

Ava, I love you. I'm always here.
Kahati mo ako sa lahat ng sakit..
You and Jason will always be included in my prayers
Pls, know na hindi ka nag-iisa.

Unsent (mala-alanis morissette)

********

donna: happy birthday ulit dear. your presence made such a big difference in my life. you make me laugh. you make me smile. you made me ride on your car. you made me apreciate Old OPM songs. thanx for the gift of friendship. I love you.

almira: you were always there. you lift me up every time. it's always nice knowing that i really have a friend in you. ang sarap sarap mong i-hug! kahit hndi man masyadong memorable ung meeting natin.. i dont care. i consider every day (and nights) that we're together the greatest times of my life. I love you so.

jani: loka-loka ka!! kaya sobrang love kta! ayokong nasasaktan ka, kse hndi mo deserve yon. You're my partner in crime. You laugh when i laugh, and i laugh when you laugh. You tell me things, and i tell you things. You're my college bestfriend. you're such a wonderful person. and i wouldn't know where, what, and who'd id be without you.

dayon: since nakadikit na ang name mo, pagka sinabing "jani".. you're great. And you're fun. I like you. (bihira lang un, dahil hate ko mostly ang mga boyfriends ng friends ko). kaya dont you dare hurt my friend. Alam ko sa isang relationship, imposibleng walang masasaktan.. but pls.. Love her the best way. She deserves it. "Mahal ka ni jani.. Mahal ka ni jani." At oo na, maganda na ang hair mo, palit tayo!

Rakel: "if i have only seven (para swerte) friends left, id want one of them to be you." you're one of the swetest things that ever happened to me. you touch people's lives, at sobrang swerte ko, im one of them. thnx for the sincere care. sa lahat lahat. salamat nakilala kta. Mahal kta sobra.

Aie: nagtatampo ako sayo. pero mahal pa rn kta. miss ko na ung mga may sense, walang sense nating pinag-uusapan. hehe. im just a txt or call away.

Tina: salamat sa mga walanghumpay mong pag-alala sakin. hinding-hindi ko mapapantayan ang kabutihan na pinakita mo. salamat sa mga kwento, SEXY!! melovesya!

aj&crystal: woah!!! where d hell did you two come from!! hehehhe. walang katapusang tawanan pag kasama kayo. You make life such a beautiful experience. Bat ba ngayon lang namin kayo nakilala??? Salamat sa sweetness nyong dalawa. kulang ang isang buong araw pag wala kayo. ayon nga kay Casper: Can i keep you? :)

aj: you are an angel. you are simply bliss.

xtal: there's nothing better than seein you smile and hearing ur hearty laugh. ngiti mo palng ulam na!

nikka: thnx for the enouragement.. for always believeing in me. for pushing me to my limits. i love you. i miss you.

tabby: heeeheee. i can't help but to smile pag nakikita kta. ansarap-sarap mo dn kseng inisin. its just so nice seeing you around. salamat sayo.

Ivy: i miss you... sobra.. i just want you to know.. I'm the still the same Ola na nakilala mo. ako pa rin ung weirdong hayskul close friend mo. ako pa rin ang no.1 fan mo. Mahal na mahal kta, ivy. i miss you like i never missed anyone else.

dan: salamat sa lahat-lahat. At home ako sayo. You're family is like my family. and i want u to know that mine is yours too. hindi ko nakakalimutan ang lahat ng masasayang araw natin. and i hope we would still be the best of friends till we're old and grey. I love you dan!

medz: you're like the sister i never had. i miss you. i miss us. im always here.

will: haha.. you make me laugh. salamat sa comfort. sa kakulitan. gusto ko lagi kang masaya.. atsaka gumagwapo ka kapag masaya ka. hehe. alam ko masaya ka ngayon.. there's nothing in this world that id ever want than your happiness. kaya pls, wag kang mabubugnot.

Tj: im sorry. if i could change everything that has happened, i would. i miss you. ...so much.

Roy: kumag ka. you treat me like im always going to be there (though im always going to be). i hate you. i hate you so much it hurts.

kaye: my dear dear sis.. ako ang kakampi mo sa bahay. kaya dapat kakampi rn kta. salamat sa mga tawanan at advice. i love you like no one else.

ate grace: masaya ako pag kasama ka.. nakakatuwa ka. hehe. pero sana wag masyadong makontra. mahal na mahal kta.

Marian: I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Ava: I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Marian&Ava: parang nasa Heaven ako, pagka kasama ko kayong dalawa. pramis, never na tayong maghihiwalay. You have to break me into pieces before you do that. I thank God every day for giving me such great friends (even words cannot explain) like you. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. if i could say it a million times i would.

"happy happy happy burpday.
sayo ang inuman,
sayo ang pulutan.
happy happy happy burpday."

nyuck!! ang corny!! hehe

venue: donna's mansion
time: gabi ng lagim
date: april sikistin, tutawsanpor

ayos, padating namin mejo maaga pa.
andon na ang kanyang hayskul pwens.
binigay namin ung gips kay donna. natuwa sya! natuwa sya! (SIGH) hehe.. true blue sharonian tlga ang loka. at meron din syang earing na slippers kaya partner sa necklace na binigay ko. (good choice!)

naka 4 bottles ako na sanmig. bilang un. ayokong masobrahan.
sa isang kaha na nabili kong marlboro.. mga 3/4 cguro dun na-consume ko.
siyet. BISYO! BISYO! BISYO!!! BAAAAAAD!!!
minsanan lang naman. masarap lng tlgang magpakagago paminsan.
masarap ung feeling na hindi mo na iniisip ung iniisip ng iba.
ung feeling na ung gusto mong gawin, gagawin mo.
ung gusto mong sabihin, sasabihin mo.
masarap ung feeling na mabigat, pero magaan..
ung inaantok.. pero hyper..
ung tipsy.. ung masaya.. ung makulit..
ung nagsisimula ka nang mag-isip ng malalim..
ung nag-uumpisa ng gumulo at luminaw ang mga bagay..
ung tipong contradicting, pero swak.

haha, LABO!

********

parang nakapanood ako ng re-runs ng "Young Love, Sweet LOve"
telenovela ang dating.
scene:
dayon, strutting away from the party. papunta sa gate ng subdivision.
jani, calling after him. "DAYON.."
Dayon, not looking back. walking. fast.
Jani, now running after him, softly shouting (OO, pwede un). "DAYON!.."

ayos. pwede nakong maluha.
few minutes, they're back.
nahimasmasan na cguro..
nalaman ang rason.
WAPAK!
"could it beeeee anyyy haaaaaarder.." (in the tune of The Calling)

Follow your heart.
"Mahal ko si Jani.. Mahal ko si Jani."

inintindi ni jani si dayon.
inintindi ni dayon si jani.
cguro ganon tlga, kapag nagmamahal ka
lumalaki ang patience.
lumalawak ang understanding.
tumataas ang threshold.
kung anong dmo kayang gawin dati.. nakakaya mo.

nagpapakamartyr ba sila sa isat-isa?
ewan. sila lang ang makkasagot..
ang sakin,
if the one you love makes you a better person.
and if you make the one you love a better person as well.
then it will be worth the fight.

mahal na araw.. nagpunta kami sa Laguna.. overnight.
Night swimming.. at konting inuman.
ive never felt intoxicated (quite) since.. well, i cant remember.
pero nung gabing tlgang yon.. sobrang hilo ako.. ang bigat ng ulo ko.. at ang bigat na ng ng mga mata. pero cge inom pa rin.

after non.. nag-swimming ulit. ayos pa lang pangtanggal ng amats un.

nakakita rn kmi ng fire flies. ang ganda.. ang ganda tlga.

kinabukasan, tumuloy kami sa Lian, Batanggas. Beach. Nagbalsa, at nagbangka.. Nagpa-araw.. at tnry an hndi magpa-araw.. nagpichur-pichur. Nagtawanan. Nagpabundat.

na-amaze ako, naisip ko ang galing at ang talino tlga ng Diyos. he was able to create all these beautiful things. The sky. The stars. The moon. The sound of the rustling of the leaves of the trees, and the blowing of the wind. Even the pool seemed magnificent. Yung inihaw na Liempo.. Yung apoy ng kandila (dahil nawalan ng kuryente).. Yung gin at mirinda ni Gp.. yung San Mig light.. Yung sasakyan na ginamit. Yung perang pinambayad. yung linaw ng dagat.. Yung white sand.. Yung digital cam ni Au at ni ate gingay.. Yung balsa.. Yung walang kamatayang Adobo.. Ung Coke, Sprite, at Royal. Yung ice cubes. Yung mamang bangkero.. Ung mga Laughtrip at kwentuhan. These beautiful people. These beautiful moments. It's like a simple heaven on earth.

at narealize ko.. i wouldn't be here, I wouldn't experience all that if it weren't for the Lord. Kung hndi sya nagpakahirap sa krus.. hindi ako nagddrama.. pero para sakin ito ang totoo: He is the reason for everything. The means and ends of every thing. hindi ko na kaialngan pang i-explain. Dahil Siya mismo ang eksplanasyon ng lahat ng bagay..

Mababaw lang ako.. madali akong matuwa sa mga maliliit na bagay.. eh ano pa kaya kung malalaki. Kaya tuwang-tuwa ako ngayon.. (ngayon lang, habang hndi pa bigayan ng course cards) dahil natapos ko na ang mga tests ko. Wala ng test sa expsych. Wla nang mgchcheck ng attendance ko tuwing 2:30, wala ng mga pipirmahang agreement na magsasabing hndi ako mangongopya. Wala ng "gets? gets?" na sa totoo lang ay hndi ko ma-gets. Wla na ring test sa cogpsych. Wala ng mga confidence judgements, at wla na ring "watsup pipol?" with matching Brazilian twang at hawi sa sides ng hair. At sa wakas wla na rin kaming makikitang 'umbok' sa harap ng klase.

Hindi pa tapos ang trabaho ko sa iba pang mga klase. Ang dami pa naming mga data-gatherings at analysis na dapat gawin. Pero masaya parin ako, dahil kahit papano, may natapos nako. Wish ko lang, pumasa ako.. Magpapainom tlga ko, pag naka-uno ako sa dlawang subject na un.

Masaya dn ako at nakasama ko c marian at ava.. wala lang, masaya lang tlga, kapag nakikita at nakakasama mo ung mga taong malapit sayo at importante sa buhay mo.

**************

ininterview ako ni aj para sa research nila tungkol sa "pagkakaroon ng crush". Shux, may naitulong ba ako dun? Feeling ko napakawalang kwenta nung mga pinagsasagot ko.
Naaawa ako kay Crystal, mukhang pagod na pagod na sya.. ang dami-dami nya kseng gnagawa. Tnry ko namang tumulong.. pero feeling ko wla pa rin akong nagawa.. haaay, nalulungkot na tuloy ako.

**************

before you do something, kailngang pag-isipan a hundred fold. Dahil lahat ng bagay na gagawin mo ay may consequences. Lahat ng mga bagay na pinagdedesisyunan mo ay may kasunod na responsibilidad.

**************

20 mins ago.. masaya ako.. pero parang ngayon.. na-ddepress na naman.. tumawag c jani.. meron na nman daw pinapagawa c Ms.Lapena.. report sa mga na-transcribe na interview sa metres. May presentation na nga at summary, iba pa ung report. At tama ba naming sabihin at ipagawa lahat un in such a short notice. Nakakaasar. Gusto ko pa nman sya dahil ang bait-bait nya. Pero parang nawawala ang amor ko sa kanya, dahil sobra sya kung magpagawa ng mga requirements. Sana naman nagbigay sya ng enough time para magawa nmin lahat ng pinapagawa niya. Nakakakagago na nga ung mga survey forms (na sobrang obsessive compulsive sa mga tipo ng participants)na kinailangan pang I-encode isa-isa, tapos dadagdagan nya pa nito. Naisip ko, ang sama nya wla man lang syang konsiderasyon.

*****************

kailangan kong makakuha ng tape recorder, bukas na bukas.

sabi nila makaka-move-on ka lang daw kapag may bago nang dumating sa buhay mo, at sya na ang maghihilom sa mga sugat na minsan nang hndi magamot.
sabi nila, makakaraos ka rin.. malalagpasan mo rin ang sakit..
at darating din ang araw na may sasagip sa yo.
darating din ang araw na may hahawak sa mga kamay mo, at sabay ninyong lalakbayin ang kurso na inihanda sa inyo ng buhay.
may mga panahon na masasaktan ka, may mga pagkakataon din na masasaktan mo sya.
dahil ganyan tlga ang buhay, hndi pwedeng walang masasaktan.
pero hndi lang naman puro sakit hndi ba?
kung iisipin nga, mas marami pa ngang masasayang ala-ala.

at sa bawat sakit, may kasunod na paghilom.

kung paano? sino? kelan? at kung saan?
hndi ko alam..
pero ang sigurado ko, lahat ng bagay may kahahantungan.

Awwww.. na-touch ako..

Busyng-busy ako sa paglalagay ng mudpack sa mukha ko.
At kada lalapit ako dun sa salamin kung san nandon si Sam at si Claudette, sisigaw sila nang sabay.. "ahhhh!!! Dun ka muna ate ola!!!!" edi syempre lalayo naman ako..

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~oo~o~

Lumapit si Sam,
"Ate ola, ate ola, basahin mo na."
She handed me an oslo paper, folded in half.
A green ribbon tied at the side.
Written in varied colors and playfully drawn:

The 3 sisters.
OLA
(with butterfly, dragonfly, heart and star shaped drawings)
cute!

I opend the hand-made card.
Sam wrote:

Dear Ate Ola,
Alam mo ikaw lang ang gusto ko sa mga Pinsan and alam mo yong Green Tag na nagsasabi na Friendship at 3 sister . para naman maalala mo kami ni Claudette.
P.S. I Love You.
Love, Sam

Hehe, mejo nalabuan ako dun sa sinulat nya, kaya tinanong ko..
"anong ibig sabihin nito (tnuro ko ung 'cute')? "
"Edi ikaw."
hehehe. tuwa naman ako don diba.. kahit mukhang binobola lng ako ng batang yon.
"eh itong 3 sisters?"
"yan, tayo yan ni Claudette, ako, at ikaw.. tapos yung green na to, para maalala mo yung friendship nating tatlo." She was grinning at me. Her eyes lit up. And I said,
"lika nga dito.." and I hugged her.

Haaaaaayy.. iba tlga.. ang saya..

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Na-meet ko na c dayon.. finally.

Ang KULET!! Ilang beses ka bang ipinanganak??? At marami rin syang baong kwento.. Kaya rin cguro okay syang kausap dahil hindi ka ma-bbored sa kanya. Pero ewan ko nalang, wala na cgurong mas kukulit pa sa kanya nung mga oras na yon. Hehe.
Marami rin pala syang opinyon sa maraming bagay.

Meron syang isang bagay na nasabi.. hindi ko na alam kung ano yung pinag-uusapan nila, pero that statement got me.
"..kung hindi lang kita mahal.."
and that's all I need to know para mapalagay ang loob ko, para sa kaibigan ko.
Hindi ko alam kung nasabi nya lang yun na parang hangin lang na nagdaan,
Pero dahil sa sinabi nya, ill trust his word for it.

"Truth resides where there is faith."

hahahaha. Super laugh trip tlga ung game na un.
C jani ang nagpakilala ng larong yun. Q&A ang tawag ko.
Ilalagay sa paper ung tanong, sasagutan ng taong katabi sa kanan ung tanong nang hindi nalalaman kung ano ang tanong na isinulat. Ang clue lang eh kung anong klase ng sagot ang dapat nyang ilagay don sa papel.

Q: Paano ka mangulangot?
(Clue)Paano?
A: isusubo

Q: Ano ang gagawin mo kapag tinubuan ka ng kulugo sa kilikili?
(Clue) anong gagawin?
A:hihiga lang

Q: Kelan ka huling hindi nagpanty?
(Clue) eksaktong petsa
A: Feb.4, 1984

Q: anong sinasabi mo kapag nagugulat ka?
(clue) sentence
A: Ang saya ko!

Q: gaano kahaba ang buhok mo sa kilikili, bago mo ahitin?
(Clue) inches, cm, km, m, exact number
A: 3 inches

Q: anong color ng mata mo kapag bagong gising?
(Clue) color
A: pink

Q:saang part ng katawan mo gustong tubuan ng pigsa?
(Clue) body part
A: sa fingers

Q: anong sex ang gusto mo, mabagal, mabilis, o ung okay lang?
(Clue) mabagal, mabilis, o okay lang
A: mabilis. broom! broom!

Q: Bat ayaw mong makinig kay sir?
(Clue) bakit?
A: E kse naman, ang sagwa!


Hahahahaha, hohohohoohooohhooohooh.hahahahahahah hihihihihihihwehehehewehhehe, ahahahaha
Tom ulit!!!! Hehe.

piolo, piolo, i love you.
aga, aga, i like you.
jimboy, jimboy i hate you.

e kse naman.....

NILOLOKO MO AKO!

anakanangtets! ma lalalast song syndrome nlang, ung kanta pa ni mahal at mura! e kse naman mahilig pa naman ako mag sabi ng "e kse naman.." yan tuloy.. may kasunod na parating.. "..niloloko mooo akoo.." yan! yang mga fx an yan ang may kasalanan! umagang-umaga, habang nag-aaral ako para sa metres, un ang pinapatugtog sa peyborit nilang steysyon, YES FM.

"kailangan pa bang imemorays yan..."

asar na sar ako kapag naririnig ko un sa mga radyo ng fx o kaya jeep.. e kase naman (here i go again) paulit-ulit, nakakaloko pa ung boses, kada comment, "kailangan pa bang immemorays yan!" anakanang--shut up! sawang-sawa nako! tapos kakanta na namn c mura at mahal.. "e kse naman... niloloko mo ako..."

habang kumakain.. habang nagtututhbrush.. habang naliligo at nagbibihis.. habang naglalakad.. habang inaaral ang photo copy ngchapters 8-10 sa expsych.. hanggang sa pagtytype dto sa blog.. hanggang sa pagtulog ko.. un ang kantang nakatatak sa isip ko.. siyeeeet!! i need another song.. badly.

"fly away.. fly like pidjin fly...."
aarrggh.. help.

Some things never have to end.

napag-usapan namin ni donna sa ym.

ola: "haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy.. donna..
ola: darating din yun, ang mga lalking pinapangapangarap natin..
ola: sabi mo nga:
ola: "the universe will conspire.."
ola: ..at the right time"
donna: haaaay
donna: sana nga...
donna: pero dba mas masaya na sana habang ngaung bata ka pa makakilala ka na rin ng sumone kahit na di pa sha talaga para naman nakaka experience ka na rin ng iba...
donna: tsaka kinikilig ka na ren habang bata ka pa...
ola: hehehe.. oo naman..
ola: pero dba.. may panahon anman ang lahat ng bagay..
ola: cguro hndi lang tlga ngayon..
ola: kung baga,,, masamang pinipilit pahinugin ang isang bagay na hndi pa hinog
ola: hahahah
ola: wudn't it be nicer kung nahinog ka in a natural way.. mas matamis. mas fullfilling.
donna: hahahhaha... eh teka, pano ka mahihinog kung di mo pa nga naeexperience mabuti..
donna: kung di ka naeexpose sa ibat ibang klaseng pagmamahal..
ola: bakit.. meron namang puno jan na nsa liblib na gubat na may prutas.. hndi nagagalaw ng kung ano-anong fertilizer.. pero nahihinog pa rn sya..
ola: lahat ng bagay may certain time ng paghinog..
ola: ang tanong, pagka hinog ka na.. "paano kung walang pumitas?"

hndi na nmin nasagot ung tanong..
naisip ko na ang sagot ngayon ngayon lang.
kung wala mang pumitas.. hndi dapat mag-alalala.
There are some things that never have to end.
pgkatapos mahinog,
mahuhlog ito sa lupa.
hindi don mgtatapos ang istorya,
dahil kasabay nito ang panibagong panimula
galing sa isang buto, uusbong muli ang isang buhay.
lalago, magmamayagpag.
magbubunga ng napakarami.

mga bunga namahihinog
dahil sa pagsilip ng sikat ng araw,
pag patak ng bawat butil ng ulan,
pag-ihip ng hangin,
at bawat araw at gabing magdadaan.
mahihinog sya at maghihintay muli.

nbbadtrip na ko sa smart amazing na yan.. asar!!!
may bibili pa kaya non, pagka binenta ko.. sana.. pero mammiis ko un if ever.. minahal ko yon na parang tunay na anak.. katabi sa pagtulog.. kasakasama sa pang-araw-araw.. makalimutan na ang lahat, wag lang sya.
tapos ngayon, ipagpapalit ko sya sa isang 7250i na mukahng drawing pa ata.

**************************

officially over

mga katagang tunay nga bang may halaga..
kelan mo nga ba tlga masasabi na, tapos na ang lahat?..
na sa wakas, kaya mo na na wala sya.
na after everything that happened (or did not happen),
kaya mo nang sabihin sa sarili mo
na hindi ka na iiyak..
na malaya ka na..
na malaya na sya.
kahit wla anmang oras na naging sayo sya..

******************************

*oi, may nagtext.. blah-blah-blah.. basahin mo na nga.*
"ola!! narinig mo na ba ang latest??!! DI NA NAMIN CRUSH C K******"!"
hndi ko makapa kung masaya ba ang tono nito. o isa pa rn itong paraan para i-convince ang sarili nila, na wala na nga tlga..

ganun ganun nala ng ba yon.. after nyong pag-daanan ang lahat-lahat. (as in lahat lahat) sasabihin mo nlng, its over.. pwwede nga ba tlga un? parang ung dun sa movie,

ADAPTATION:
(Meryl in a voice over)
if you loved something so much, wouldn't it Linger?
He (Laroche) just moved on. I wished i could to.

50 first dates

and you'd think, that wouldn't be possible.
the story is about a guy (Henry)trying to make a certain girl(Lucy) fall in love with him everyday

Imagine, every single day you have to introduce yourself to someone, make her stop and take notice of you. Imagine, trying to think of ways of making her fall in love with you, over and over again. Imagine, giving her a goodnight kiss before she sleeps, only to realize she wouldn't know you the next time she opens her pretty little eyes. Imagine seeing her the next day, only this time, you're just like everybody else, just another person in a crowd, an unfamiliar face, A complete stranger..

She wouldn't know that you tried to pick her up by pretending you can't read. She wouldn't know that you waited everymorning where your car passes by, and made your friend beat you up, so she could save you.She wouldn't know that you just shared the most wonderful day yesterday, hugging, kissing, laughing. She wouldn't know that the night after you explored the depths of each's soul, you just asked her to marry you, and she sincerely smiled and whispered, "Of course."

I could feel it.
It moved me.
He loved her.. underneath it all.
He loved her.. no if's. no but's.
He gave his all, and he didn't let go.

I guess I'm a sucker for cheesy movies.

And I'll continue to be one. Until I found my own Henry.
And then maybe, we'll have a story of our own.
Surreal,
but yes,
it never has to end.

Masaya ako, dahil maraming taong nagmamahal , nagtitiwala at naniniwala sa akin.
Hindi ko alam kung deserve ko yon.. pero nagpapasalamat ako.
I am blessed with so many things.
Kaya nag-uumapaw ako sa tuwa. Literal. Ppwede pala yun..
Kahit hindi ko masyadong naipapakita, naglulumundag ang loob ko sa kasiyahan.
Masarap tlga ung feeling na alam mong naaapreciate ka ng mga taong nasa paligid mo.

At ang pakiramdam na ito.. haaay.. walang kaparis, walang maikukumpara sa kakaibang high at lakas na nadadala nito parang cguro kahit un lang, pwede mo ng haharapin ang buhay.
At alam mong kakayanin mo, at ibibigay mo din ang lahat. Dahil enough na ang mga bagay na iyon, para naisin mong magtaguyod pa sa buhay.

Kaya, salamat.. Salamat. Kanino? Sa lahat. Sa Diyos. Sa Pamilya. Sa mga Kaibigan. (Sa sarili ko, dahil loveable ako. Hehe)

THE REASON
Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

***************************
if reason is everything that you are..

Trip.

ano nga ba ang trip..
trip kong manood ng movie.. kaya manonood ako, kahit wla akong pera.
trip kong matulog.. kaya magkukulong ako sa kwarto, wlang manggugulo.
trip kong kumain ng fishball, samahan mo pa ng sweetcorn na may cheese at asukal.. wlang pakialamanan!
trip kong tumunganga.
trip kong sumigaw.
trip kong mangurot ng pwet.
trip kong magtinikling.
..mag-jackstone
..tumalon ng isang-daang beses.
..kumindat ng nakapikit.
trip kong maglakad sa bubog habang nagtetext.
Bakit.. Trip lng naman ah.
it's no big deal.

Nagpunta ko sa Dentista.

nagpapasta, isa.

sa totoo lng takot ako sa dentista, pero lagi kong knukulit ang mommy ko na bigyan ako ng pera para magpapasta, or magpalinis.

THE DOCTOR IS IN. siyet.. here i go again.

*zzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.. ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*
*zzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiing.. ... ZZzzZzzZZZzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiZZzzZziiinngg..*

nkita ko ung mga abo ng ngipin ko na naglilipiran.

"open pa" sabi ni Tita Joy
sobrang buka na nga ang bibig ko, dahil sa takot ko na mtamaan ung gilagid or loob na part ng bibig.

hindi na kaya.. bukang buka na..

sadya cgurong maliit lng tlga ko ngumanga.
pero cguro nga parang buhay,
*ipilit mong ibuka pa.. ibigay ang lahat ng makakakaya. wider.. para di ka masaktan.
at isa pa.. ikakabuti mo nman ito.

kaya. cge, eto na.. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

depekto

nawawala ang id.

cra pa ang cellphone.

tagilid na sa pag-aaral.

tagilid pa rin sa love life.

wala na ngang pera,

wala pang kwenta.

****************

natatakot ako sa pwedeng mngyari..
if ever, hndi ko alam ang gagawin..
hndi ko alam ang mggigng reaksyon ko.
ayokong manakit.
ayokong may masaktan na nman ng dahil lng sakin.

ano ang gagamitin..
puso, o isipan.. puso o isipan..
paano mo pagsasabayin, ang dalawang bagay na nag-uumpukan?

first time kong magtanggal ng lansa ng manok.

nung una.. nandidiri pa ko.. sabi sakin ng tita ko, "alam mo, ikaw lng ang nakita kong naglilinis ng manok na isang kamay lng ang gamit.." e kse nmn.. ayoko tlgang nghahawak ng ganon.. hndi luto.. naiisip ko pa ung itsura nila nung buhay pa sila. kinuha sakin ng tita ko ung manok, tapos inilublob ulit sa tubig na pinaglulutangan ng kung ano-anong body parts pa ng manok. "ganito o.. tanggalin mo ung mau-hog-uhog jan sa mga gilid."

bkt kse ako pa.. maghuhugas nalang ako ng pinggan.. ng mga baso.. mga kawali.. dishwasher lng nman tlga dapat ako eh. wla tlga akong galing pgdating sa mga ganyan.. pero hnde, pinilit pa rn ako. kailangan matuto daw ako. A MUST LEARN, kung baga.

****************
woahh.. ang saya.. okay nmn pla yon.. hehehe. madali lng din pala.. kinareer ko ang pagtatanggal ng lansa.. naka-isang kaldero ako ng manok.. wlang gilid na hindi nkaligtas. hindi daw ske magging masarap ang luto, kapag hndi ntanggal ung lansa non. kaya hayun.. "pasado ka na." sabi ng tita ko.

****************

randam ko c rakel. randam ko ung saya nya kagabi. sana nkasama din ako..