Sent Message

"Are you saying, I should wait for her?"
"How much do you like her."
"Enough to make her my partner in life."
"Then why are you giving up."
"When you really want something.. You go and get it.
You don't just sit there in a rock and wait for it to get to you."
Send.
Recently used. Select.
Select.
Ok.
Sent Message.

My words flew to its receiver like leaves blown softly by the wind.
They echoed back to me with a prick,
as i realized that these words are actually coming from me.
What was I saying..
I cannot even follow my own advice.

I guess there are lessons that do not work for every one.
I'm deciding, this one does not count for me.

Catch and Release

It's one of those lazy Saturday afternoons,
channel surfing, and decided to look into HBO.
hmmmm... i hope this time it's a good one.

It's Jennifer Garner.
I like her.
She's charming, fit, and pretty
She's.. sweet-looking, and she has dimples too.
In shortness, Jennifer G.'s my girl-crush.

I caught my girl crush in a kitchen scene with a guy, fixing a late-night snack.


Gray (J.G.): Are you lonely?
Fritz (unknown actor): Right now.. No. *smiles*
Gray: I meant, in general.. You must be lonely..
Gray: Who do you tell your stories to?
Fritz: Well.. I just keep them to myself.
Gray: That's a tragedy.

****

Every one has their own stories to tell.
happy.. crazy.. scary.. exciting.. sad ones.
It must be hell not to have someone to share it with.

not everyone has the patience to put up with every kind of shananigans our minds can cook up.
maybe that's the whole reason why we keep on trying to search the world and back for someone who can hear our stories, and not be disgusted.
because when we finally find that someone..
we'll never be lonely.

Playing Mario

i'm missing a lot of things lately..

haaaay.. nakaka miss ang maging bata.
parang noon lang tabi tabi kami ng mga kapatid ko,
at salitang naglalaro ng Mario sa family computer.
haha, asar na asar pako nun, pag ang galing nila masyado maglaro.
Aaargh.. ang tagal naman! Ako naman!

tnry ko ulit maglaro.
deds agad.
haha.
haaays, never talaga ako naging henyo sa mga computer games.

i'm starting to miss my hair.
i know, i know, i know.
it was long overdue.. and i have no sane excuse to hold on to it.

---

"ano bang cut ang gusto mo?" said the very stylish Rico, the salon owner and my famed haircutter.
"yung medyo maikli lang (gesturing 3inches with my hand)... and yung may bangs?" i answered with a hesitation.
"ahh.. Dyosa pala ito.. with bangs.. anong bangs ang gusto mo? wild bangs?"
i panicked at the mere thought of wild, and blurted quickly, "hind! yung konting bangs lang."
"hmmmm.. pa-tweety-tweetie bengs lang pala gusto nito."

then he/she, the master, took his/her tools and went right down to business.
my hair were all over the place (literally).
i can hear my hair being cut through, *Zzzzz* Czzzzzz* Zzz-zZz *
my cutter was doing all these crazy layerings on my hair that i wouldn't dare to even look.

---

they say my new cut fits me better.
i look younger.. and fresher.. and up-to date.
i'm having a hard time trying to convince myself that they are right.

To A Dear Friend

To A dear friend,

Do not be sad. I know life has been hard this past few days.. or months.. or years. And I guess, it will only continue to be worse.. if you'll let it. There are things in life that we have done in the past that we are not proud of. Whatever those things may be, we can no longer take them back. What we can do is, to make sure we do not make the same mistakes again. And move forward, by committing that from this day on we are going to live a better life.

Forgive the people that have hurt you.
Forgive Yourself.
You are not anymore the person who they say or think you were. You, are not your past.
You, are the person you choose to be in the present. And you always have the power everyday, to reinvent yourself and become the person that you wish to be.

You have your whole life ahead of you. And I know, that there are so many many many great things that will be laid upon your feet. It is just yours for the taking.

I know I have said this a number of times before, but i will not be tired of reminding you.
I deeply believe in this.
Take hold of God's hand.
Reach in, and do not let go.
For in His mighty gentle hands, I promise you, you will not be harmed.
Hear Him. and Speak to Him.
Surrender to Him all that you keep in your heart.
You are strong, but with Him you will be stronger.
And with Him, surely, hope.. and love.. and serenity.. is over flowing.
with Him, you will find rest.

Do not be discouraged. For you are worth far more than any living thing in this world. No eyes have seen, no ears have heard, no mind has yet conceived, what God has prepared for you.

"I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
- Jeremiah 29:10-13

I love you friend.
And I want you to know that you will never be alone anything.
I'll always have your back. And God will always have your hand..

Take very good care of yourself.

Smile always,
Ola

get real

"I guarantee there'll be tough times.
I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want to get out of this thing.
But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine,
I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me."
-Runaway Bride

can anything get more real than this.
Love is always a decision.

It's a choice, when you build a relationship.
It's a choice, when you let your heart get broken.
It's a choice, when you fight for what you deserve.

It has always been a choice
whether it's to slap your face with misery
or to cloak yourself with happiness.

there are no perfect outcomes.
at some point,
it will never be enough.
But then again..
what matters is you put a face on it.
Braved the waters.

At the dawn of morning
you will wake up with no what if's,
or what could've beens.
because you gave your best shot.

and you will have no regrets.

Life's questions

it's been a long day.

had dinner with jacq, eileen and cams right after their dance practice.
every one was tired, so it was easy for each of us to let out our angst
from work
from colleagues
from existing and non-existing love life
and from life in general.

got home around past 10 in the evening.
Tony called.
and heard the same story i just had over dinner.

"How can life be so unfair?"
"I've given so much, why don't i receive anything in return?"
"I want to be really happy just like every one else, when's my turn going to be?
"Where should I go, What should I do, Who should i run to?"
the many questions we all store in our minds and keep in our hearts.

are we asking for the wrong questions,
or are we looking for the answers we only want to hear?

and i realized..
we have all been warned.
by our elders,
our friends,
our textbooks,
our music,
our surroundings,
our experiences in Life..
"looks can be deceiving."
"not all that glistens, is gold."
"the best things in life are free."

not everything that's best for us is laid in a beautiful grand package
(like a bundle of us would have expected it to be..)
in most times, the best things are found in places we would not envision them to be.
and some times, it is in appreciating the simple things, that matters most.

I know that life can be hard,
but i also know this,
Life can mean so much more, if we'd only give it a chance.
It's not about who gets more, and who gets less.
why don't we have that, and why don't we have this.
The world does not owe us anything.
maybe,
the reason why we are so unhappy with our lives is because we keep on chasing for the wrong things that we thought will make us happy.
maybe because, we are too blind to see what is right in front of us,
or too ignorant to feel the present gently laid upon us.
just at out reach, silently waiting for us to grab it, and embrace it.

---

The Bible says,
"I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise
to bring you back to this place.
For i know the plans i have for you,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me,
and come and pray to me,
and i will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
-Jeremiah 29:10-13

we've all been trying to search for an answer to satisfy all our needs.
And all the while, i realize the answer is in this scripture.

unsent

Hi panget,

i missed you, just today.

you were once my familiar, and now it feels like we are strangers to each other. it seems as though you're happy now... That's really great, wonderful even. At least for now, i don't have to worry.

i'm sleeping well now.
and alone nights stopped to be such a torture.
i don't see you anymore in every love song i hear.
and i started to laugh again.. really laugh.

i miss you though.
we were friends once, and i miss having you around.
i miss our long walks, and having meals with you.
you were the brute who introduced me to jap food *laughs*
i will never forget that.

i miss your hugs, panget.

but some good things have to end,
so we can make room for greater things.

you have made me a better person, in more ways you know.
i will never regret you.

you take care,
Ola

the first time i fall in love was long ago
i didn't know how to give my love at all.
the next time i settled for what felt so close
but without romance, you're never gonna fall
after everything i've learned,
now it's finally my turn
this is the last time i'll fall... in love.

the first time we walked under that starry sky
there was a moment when everything was clear
i didn't need to ask or even wonder why
because each question is answered when you're near
and i'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds
this is the last time i'll fall in love.

now don't hold back, just let me know
could i be moving much too fast or way too slow
cause all my life, i've waited for this day
to find that once in a lifetime
this is it, i'll never be the same
you'll never know what it's taken me to say these words,
and now that i've said them, they could never be enough
as far as i can see, there's only you and only me.

this is the last time i'll fall in love.
last time i'll fall in love.
the last time i'll fall... in love.

The Last Time
-Eric Benet

I was talking to bes on the phone
when he played Eric Benet's The Last Time on the background.
I imagined myself having "my one" say those words to me.
I would have cried right then and there, if it was not bes that i was speaking to..
"ganda bes no.." he said.
"yes.." was my reply..
"do you still believe in that bes?.. loving someone and knowing she will be your last," I asked him.
he said yes.
I do too.

I was already on the verge of giving up on love.
somehow forever just seemed so distant, that it doesn't stand a chance to the world.
and then, this song revived me.
amazing how a simple composition can bring one back to life.

I have this knack for cheesiness.
a desire to be baduy.
If marrying means spending the rest of my life with "my one"
then give me kabuduyan, and i'll embrace it with open arms.

I searched for the lyrics of the song first thing in the morning,
and lo and behold, there it is.
the words of my beloved.
(whoever he is)

:-)

OTH - on losing your way

Lucas: "And Hansel said to Gretel, 'Let us drop these breadcrumbs... so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the most cruel of things. ' This year, I lost my way."

Nathan: "And losig your way on a journey is unfortunate. But losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel."

Peyton: "The journey lasted for months. sometimes i traveled alone, sometimes, there were others who took the wheel--and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it wasn't me who arrived... it wasn't me at all."

Brooke: "And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be... or lose that person completely."

Mouth: Because, sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been. And remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are.

***

i just thought i'd share a line from One three Hill
and hope that this would help you find the person you are meant to be.

and if in the process you still lose your way,
please know my hand will always be yours to hold.

Ola: it's like i'm hanging on a thin line.. na any wrong move I make, can be the end of whatever "thing" we both have.
Dayon: kung meron talaga, meron.. kung wala, di yun dahil sa move na ginawa mo.

ahhh... a light at the end of the tunnel.
bat nga ba isip ako ng isip.
hayaan mo ang mga pangyayari ang magdala sa inyo sa dapat mangyari.

i felt a ray of light shunned upon me.
tama yung sinabi ni Dayon.
and then the feeling of pressure and confusion slowly fades
(at least even for a bit)
i realize..
I dont have to torture myself and over think of what's going to happen, or what's not.

let the chips fall where they may.

twiddler's care

i keep waiting for my life to get to the "amazing part" but i can't seem to get there.
always on the outside looking in.

God,
Have i become the person you would've wanted me to be?

stop me

advise nang lahat.
"i-enjoy mo lang.. have fun. H'wag ka masyadong pa-apekto."

But i cant.
No matter how hard i try not to, i still end up doing exactly the opposite.
i'm not structured that way.
i react.
i feel things.
okay, i guess at most times, more than what's expected.
but that's how i am. That's how i am built.
I cant just transform into somebody different overnight.
and think, i can just do this?
that i can just fly by this whole situation and end up not getting hurt.

every one will say (in unision),
"You have brought this upon yourself.."

I have, and i dont know how to stop.

saturday

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..

when you hear a sound like that,

you know there's some thing.
now what that 'some thing' is,
that's the thing that'll keep our minds brewing.

can be a good thing,
or can be the 'other-not-so-good-thing' thing.

So what is it.. that thing Thing??
(haha, confused na ako.)

there's always reasons behind these heavy long sighs.

and i cant seem to point a finger on it
or equate them into words.

sometimes its hard to find words to express the moments,
events,
or feelings
that meant everything to you.
most of the time, words cant even give justice.

so you settle with a sigh.
and hope to God, someone hears it.

***

i've been drinking a lot of coffee lately
i am convinced, caffeine does not affect me anymore.
but i give it a try anyway.

sometimes i find myself caught in the nasty web of extremes
pulling me back and forth to two different poles.
not thinking or over-thinking.
hating or loving
being too caring or being too apathetic
do i let the chips fall where they may
or do i fight for what i deserve?

it feels like the world is playing a trick on me.
and i seem to be on the losing end.
but we all know (from experience) the 'seemingly seems' may not always be the reality
in most cases,
they always turn out to be the opposite of what really is.

i know i have a choice...
i guess, i just have to make one
to win.

Birtday Celeb of ED and Cams at CME

*kaching* *kaching*
600 bucks flew out of my (already flat) wallet faster than the speed of light.
Whaaaaa.. How.. whaaadaheck did just happen??
i just bought chichis, 3 liters pepsi max, an ice tea pack, cheesedogs, and sisigs in cans.
that's all it, and it nearly cost me my life savings (okay, i'm exagerrating)
although our snacks and breakfast (for 9 hungry peeps) crippled my financial stability,
it felt nice knowing i'm providing for the nourishment of 9 growing kids jacq has to accommodate at her condo.
besides that's the least i can do for all the support they have generously given me for the past 3 years. (thanks friends, ayan ha natikman nyo na rin ang dugot pawis ko, maalat alat pa! sorry nalang sa mga di nkatikim. better luck next time.)

********

after doing some grocery shopping, our growling stomachs led us to (walang kamatayang finger-licking goooood) KFC. "mag-bucket tayo. mas mura." everyone agreed. we did some nifty computation to assure us of the damage. haaaaay.. wala na tlgang mura ngayon sa mundo.. we all end up buying one piece chicken meal for each, and settled for that. gagastos pa bukas eh~

********

lancaster, jacq's place:
aircon not working (we were warned)..
our warm breaths circulating the room,
and sweats forming on our foreheads (and yes, on other hidden places too).
we decided to cool ourselves and headed to the open pool of the building.
we're not supposed to be there, but no one has to know right?
hmmm.. the cold breeze caressing our faces, and with a nice view of the ortigas skyline. (Hellow SM!)
just perfect to complement a healthy Q&A/catching up/squeezing-some-juices out of our dear friends.

it's fun to argue.
it takes the angst out, and clears the mind.
of course what better topic than the differences of the two species God has so cleverly and intricately made:
Men and Women.
We all know it, and we all can't deny it.
there's a universe of difference between these two. but that doesn't mean, we can leave it laying flat like that, and continue with our lives looking (and heading) at different directions. Compromise.
It's all about learning from each other, and growing together.
It's pushing yourself to be better.
It's trying and wanting to understand.
It's extending not just only the tip of your fingers, but offering the strength of your arms.
We do not only enter in a relationship just to be accepted,
but also to be challenged to take those crucial steps of getting out of our comfort zone
and becoming the best person we can be.

********

ahhhhhhh.. tired finally.
but minds still racing.. and so much to kid around for. (daming baon na jokes at kwento)
i missed this.
and so we talked and talked and talked, until our eyes can't take it anymore.
i woke up with the smell of cheesedogs and sisig.
and discovered, i was the last woman (nope, not standing) sleeping.
we all ate breakfast. watched (mild daw sabi ni fej) porn. (hey we're just curious!)

took some pictures to start the day, and went off to CME (Club Manila East) for the main event.

********

Highlights of the day:

First Dip: Ahhhhhh.. our first summer gettaway of the year with the group. got excited at testing and dipping into the waters.


Kayaking: all went kayaking except for me and anna. haaaaaaay.. wrong decision. (im scared i might fall off) but i had fun taking their pictures. i had some great shots.

Wave Pool: whaaaaaa... scared at first, but got the hang of it as mins flew by. it was quite tiring, but it's the collective effort of the group that made the experience a lot of fun (minus people nudging your chest, or accidentally knocking your head, and inhaling pool water into your nose).


Pool Charades: hahaha. definitely my most favorite activity of the day. (minigraine ako dun) can't decide on who the best player is, whether it's jacq for the doing the 'sounds like' action of typing in a computer.. only to learn that its friendster supposed to be sounding like "forest". (ay oo jacq, gets namin yun!) or Feji, for acting out Swan Princess, and seeming like a Pope, Duke, and a big Dragon, or Eileen for being able to guess the answer "Babangon Ako, at Dudurugin Kita" in one action. haaaaaaaay.. Super Laugh trip!

********

it was a weekend to remember. a nice way to start off a great summer.

ένα χτύπημα στην ήδη σημαδεμένη καρδιά μου.

When's my Next?

everybody's seem to be having their fair share of summer fun.
wonder when's mine gonna be.

i need my (once in a while) dose of sea, sand, and sun.
it feels like my last one
(island hopping at puerto princessa with my dearie almira)
happened eons of months ago.
i'm already itching for my next big trip.

***

My Donsol gettaway was a burst bubble.
what's supposed to be an experience with butandings
turned into an affair of idle time at work and brewing a plan on how to snatch my new crushie.
dont i have any better things to do???

haaaaaaay, i definitely need my vitamins..
re-living my bora vacation with ava, marian, and wanna..
as i peek into jani's bora album at multiply.
ahhh.. a place of heaven.




Come Sunday.
Club Manila East will be our paradise.

oh well, if i can't have the beach just yet,
a trip to the pool will do. :)
i may not have the view, but i can have all the laughter i need.
hey, i got my GF girls with me, what more can i ask for.

Super Heart

sometimes i marvel at the vision i see,
as i stop and ponder
what hearts are really made of..

in life, i've come to realize
that our hearts are the strongest organ we have.
it's so invincible, it stands even at the most arduous of times.
it challenges the depths of its limits,
it can defy the gravity of patience, principle, and truth.

our persistent hearts often choose to grasp onto things not meant for us.
it falls in the abyss of the unknown.
it comforts itself in the winter of its loneliness.
it takes courage from a single laugh, a gentle touch,
a soft whisper from a friend.

it at times shatters,
it bleeds,
it breaks down to pieces.
and with a sprinkle of care,
it puts itself back to whole again.

fascinating isn't it?
...the wonders of a beating heart.

what hearts are really made of?
its a mystery, we all have yet to unfold.

they say we have a crazy family.



hmmmmmm..
that's not so bad right?


on the night of saturday last 19th of April,
my dad, mom, kuya, ate, bunso, tita, gerps ni kuya, (kumpleto!) and I, all went straight to Laguna to attend my cousin's little kid bunso, (so that makes her my pamangkin!) Kate's 7th birthday. They rented a private pool for an overnight partaaaaaaay (includes 3 airconditioned rooms, billiards table, and the most important of it all.. a Videoke!)

As usual, we came in late, but this time we got there ahead from the rest of the Plamenco Clan. In family gatherings like these we usually get teased for not being on time, and for always being the ones to get to the meeting place last (my mom's the culprit, i'm telling you).


Here's some shots taken on that faithful night:




Kate (the birthday girl) wearing the princess Belle gown, with her cousin and my pamangkin Ginger.








gorgeous peeps, starting the night at the veranda
(from left to right):
getty, me, kaye, claudette, sam, au, grace







fooling around! throwing people to the pool. (ang lalim kaya) lahat basa na except for me! ahahha beh!!







after sampling the videoke.. pose muna.








astig pic, drinking the night away. one bottle plang for me.











taking a dip with sisters, cousins, and pamangkin.

just to share a pic taken by Dayon on his trip to Sagada.

ganda tlga.. it seems so peaceful.
at malayong malayo sa nakagisnang araw-araw.

haaaaaay... i definitely need to go back.

try try if i can cross-post from blogger to multiply. hope this works.

*todo cross fingers*

I know this site's not much.. but hey wont hurt, right?
yung may mga malambot (at kahit matigas din) na puso jan..
please take time to read below's plea.
a call for help..
the child is a pamangkin of a good friend.
yung may mga extra money jan..
paki nalang. :)
may it be returned to you a hundred.. heck, a million fold.


**************


My name is JOSH GERARD BIHASA SAAVEDRA. Please help me live. I was born on October 9, 2006 with Alagille Syndrome. A condition where the liver does not have enough bile ducts.As a result, the bile builds up within, and is destroying my liver.

I need a liver transplant in order for me to live. Pediatric liver transplants can be done at the Philippine General Hospital or at the Chang Gung Memorial Hospital in Kaohsiung, Taiwan, the Glen Eagles Hospitalin Singapore, or at the Queen Mary Hospital in Hong Kong at a cost ranging from P4 million to P7 million. My parents, Jo Ann and Gerardo, can’t afford such huge amounts, that’s why I appeal to your charity and compassion. Please help me raise money for my liver transplant. Any amount you can contribute will help to ensure my survival.

You can deposit your donations at any BDO branch. Account name: Josh Gerard B. Saavedra. Account number: 0470405643. You can also send your donation to our home address: Block 141, Lot 6, Phase IV Mary Cris Complex Brgy. Alang-Ilang, Gen. Trias, Cavite.

You can contact us at telephone Nos: 09185764510 and 09186579961. You may also course your donation through the LIFT-B.A.B.I.E.S. Foundation, which is assisting my family, by depositing it at any BDO branch, Account Name LIFT-B.A.B.I.E.S. Foundation, Inc., Account No. 0230-00198-7 (please inform the foundation of the amount and date it was deposited).

For further information about me, alagille syndrome and liver transplants, please call the foundation at telephone nos. (632) 824-4621, 0918-9263237 or 0918-9096680, or visit them at 32 Sto. Domingo St., Valley XI, San Antonio Valley Subd., Paranaque City. For further information about LIFT-B.A.B.I.E.S. Foundation, please visit its website at liftbabiesfoundation.org.

: )

"Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you can't remember a time when it wasn't. But then one day, you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment you realize, you're happy."
-Lucas (One Three Hill)

hindi ko rin alam kung bakit..
but sometimes people choose to wallow in their sadness.
is it because we are afraid?
afraid to be finally happy,

only to lose it again.

space between

Space between.
What is this void between us?
I feel this narrow space of bottomless solitude.
A single mistake can lead me to fall off the edge.
It can be my reason of death.
Falling.
And no one to catch me.
So close, yet out of reach.
A promise i cannot have.
A dream doomed to stand alone.

My Good Friday Guy

i've spoken with someone interesting through ym.
i didnt expect that time would really pass by so quickly.
we finished at around past three in the morning.

I've never had a decent conversation with a same-aged (or so) Christian guy before.
he was different.
He was no saint, but he spoke about God,
and how he's guilty for sinning.
And sometimes he bargains with God, like I do.
(not sure if that was a good thing)
*chuckles*
he said he's doing something, he shouldn't be doing, but cant help but doing.
(anudaw??)
it drives me crazy just thinkin about it.
(maybe i'll ask him about it again, and get some more clues.)

He's fairly attractive,
just the right height, nice eyes, matipuno (di nya alam yung word na matipuno.. hehe)
modest.. polite.. sporty..
and he loves dogs! :)

i dont know him too well, but i can say, he's a good guy.
besides he was able to jump in my wagon of senseless thoughts.
gotta give him props for that.
*laughs*

***
sigh...
and why was i talking about him again?
Oh.. right.
i was just saying,
i think he's a good guy, and.. i'm looking forward to our next conversation.
i just hope he's not too busy.

beginning

it gets easier
when you realize your worth..
when you learn you don't have to settle for less..
when you believe you deserve better.

it gets easier

when you realize that you cannot give anything you don't have.

when you finally accept that you can be loved.
when you decide to love yourself as well.

and then you start hoping again.

:)

-for joe, cams, kaye, almira, ava and me

a number of Firsts

Come 8a.m.

it was my first time to check-in at the airport on my own.
it's just a domestic flight, so its not such of a big thing,
but still, a first time is a first time.

i found myself people watching again,
while trying to figure out what next step i was supposed to do.
which should i do first?
the checking-in, or the paying of the terminal fee?
where the heck is the check-in booth and the baggage counter??
(im a big wreck when it comes to these kind of things)
i forget almost everything, as if it was my first time to travel as well.

i was scolding myself as i felt my heart beating faster,
Ola, this is the third time you're going to do this,
What, Are you suddenly suffering from a bad case of amnesia??"
i was panicking a little,
Well, what if I am!!! This is my first time, alone!
san ka na ba almira... pls hurry up.
i knew i was already over-reacting..
so i calmed my nerves and found myself laying eyes on a sign board.

i saw it, finally. Cebu pacific: Puerto Princessa
"Ahh.. there it is."
there was a long line forming.
(but the flight to Kalibo was much much longer)
most of the travelers are couples.
i was a bit jealous, to be honest.
while, I.. I was the only lone backpacker.

i was already contemplating on whether to board the flight or not, just in case almira will be excessively late.
i was preparing myself for the worst.
to my relief, almira made it right on time.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..

i can smile now. :)

fast forward >>>>>>>>>>>

Highlights of our gettaway:

Butterfly Farm

first time i saw cocoons.it's a bit icky. but it's amazing to see them in groups. and I saw a lot of butterflies too! good thing they just flew over or pass me. (scared of insects).





the under ground river.


another first! although its my second time to enter a cave (my first one was in sagada), this would be my first time to explore with us in a boat. it was quite a long trip. we have to travel by land for about two hours, and then board a banka for 20mins.




limestones:

palawan is also famous for their limestones, and so we cannot pass up the chance to take a shot.





Kalui's

Fear Factor Challenge: to eat Tamiluk, a local delicacy. The main ingredient? .~' worms.'
"Almira.. do we really have to do this.. parang di ko yata kaya.."
"Ola, ang arte mo ha.. nandito na tayo eh.." She said it's a must that we try, it's part of the tour.
i heaved a sigh.. i realized, i wont be able to get out of this one..
"Kuya, chopstick pls.."
.
...
I knew we were going to regret this, the moment the waiter laid our feast of worms on the table.
it doesn't even look a bit tasty.
Almira insisted that i go first.
"bat ako..."
i didnt have enough strength to argue, so i figured i might as well go for it.
Just pick the shortest darn thing, shove it to you mouth, and swallow.
don't think about it.
dont taste it.
Just swallow.

Well, okay.. here goes..
"...Ulk.."
i tried my hardest to push it down my throat.
"...Uggghh.. cold... and slimy.. tastes like worm.... Ugghh.." i washed the after-taste with my Sprite.
Almira, was smiling like a little kid.
Grin all you like, you're next.

It was a success!!! we were able to eat a whopping 2 worms (one for each!)
*applause*

and gave the rest to manong tricycle driver.

Back to Reality

just got back from an hour and so flight from Puerto Princessa Palawan.
"Aaaaahh.. back to the city..
back to my old reality.."
although i missed my girlfriends at work,
i can't stop myself from feeling down.
i can feel my body tensed
as the calming effect of the clear blue sky, and pristine waters of palawan quickly expired.
Coming back, i was reminded of the life a left 4 days ago:
waking up early (i know, i know, i'm sooooo lazy..)
filling up blockings (and its choking me to death)
another sales meeting tom (don't have anything to report)
it means..
another... dragging.... day.....
and to add weight to my misery,
i have no buck to spend for the days to follow.

if there's one worse thing in my life, it's work.
is it a crime to say,
"i hate my job."
and everyone who's tired of hearing me complain silently asks,
"then why the hell are you still staying, stop whining, and get out of that shithole."
"i can't leave.. yet.
we don't have a corporate sales rep..
i'll miss my friends.. i know i'll just be miserable without them..
i don't know where else to go, what kind of work i'll do..
or maybe i know,
but i don't know how to get there..
what if i'll make the wrong decision..
i'm scared.."
is it a bigger crime to admit,
that leaving my job
scared the living lights out of me.

creating my own bucket list (things to do before i kick the bucket)
inspired by the movie.

it's still not complete yet.
making a list on my "not-on-line-journal"
will post it here as soon as i finished.

-----

ava wont be able to come with us to Palawan.
i was disappointed.
we have been waiting and dreaming of this for days and days..
and then in a snap, she's not coming.
my excitement level went from insanely excited to just plain excited.
it just won't be the same without her.

but never the less.
the trip would be just me, and my dear dear friend almira.
she has always been one of those friends i have, that i know i can never afford to lose.
and i'm thankful despite our "busy" schedules, we still have time to see each other.
i worry a lot about her these days.. (nahawa na yata ako.. hehe)
i'm a bit scared, i wont be able to cheer her up.
this is supposed to be the "forget-about-the-world-we-got-back-home" kind of trip.
so i sure don't want to mess this up.

pimp

Glitter Graphics

pimp my man!!

hehe. peace tayo sami. :)

Find the joy in your life.
-The Bucket List

one more week to go, and we're off to Puerto Princessa Palawan.
The Last Frontier.
i can't hardly wait to see the pristine waters, and majestic caves.
and be with two of my bestest friends, ava and almira.
But before that, of course
Jacq and I should perform first a miracle
to sell blocks of higher-rate seats departing to the land of the arabs.

well then, we'll both have to put on our harworker hats
and hope the universe conspires.

arabian nights

stumbled upon a site called blingee
http://blingee.com
where people can attached cute/funny tags to their pictures.
i got the chance to play with some, and put a little bling-bling on my treasured pics
(thanks to cams, who graciously made a fool out of me and eileen)


here's a peek to my masterpieces.



mmmmmwwwaaah!!




love my GF girls!!




pia and camille in real life




kissing game, anyone?

Mine to Remember
Waz

You weren't the first,
But you'll be the last, to see inside.
And something suddenly changed
Inside of me,
You tore apart

Give me half a day, just so I can say
I love you
And take it all away
And maybe you would say you miss me too

You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember

At first you said it was real
You said it felt right
Deep inside
But now you need space and time 
To get yourself right,
I'm in between

Give me half a day just so I can say
I love you
And take it all away
And maybe you would say you miss me too

You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember

Walk away, don't walk away from me
Walk away, don't walk away from me

Give me half a day just so I can say I love you
And take it all away
And maybe you would say you miss me too

You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember
You are mine to remember

Give me half a day just so I can say...
...I love you.