Balance Inquiry [ ENTER ]

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what?? that was all it?
is this all i get for 14 days of gruelling work?
the ATM machine taunted me with an answer,

yep.. that's about everything.
and do you want a receipt to go with it?

No. [ ENTER ]

I don't know why I still get shock every time.
as if one day, i'll be able to see a miracle happen before my eyes.
i guess, i never stopped hoping that it will.

i heaved a sigh.
will it ever get better?

someday..
someday i'll get my worth.

"Long day at work..?"
"yup... long day.."

was it that obvious..
i checked myself in the mirror.
tired eyes.. i can see little wrinkles forming under my eyelids.
i shoved some stray hair from covering my face and tucked them in my left ear,
used my fingers as a comb, and pat an oil-blotting paper on my cheeks.

kailangan ko na nga yatang mag-stress stabs.

"what the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
-Pearl Bailey

bakit ganon.. pakiramdam ko,
ako yung kontrabida..
sa pagkakaalam ko.. wala naman akong ginawa..
wala naman akong dinehado..

wala rin naman akong sinisisi.
alam ko anman na walang may kasalanan sa nagyari.
tanggap ko naman ang lahat.
hindi ko rin naman ipinipilit na makibahagi pa sa mundong hindi na akin.

pero masama ba..
masama bang masaktan.
maramot na ba..
kugn naisin ko mang angkinin ang mga ala-alang noon ay amin lang.

pasesnsya ka na,
kung hindi kita kinamayan.
pasensya ka na,
kung kulang pa yung ngiting ibinigay ko.
pasensya ka na,
kung nasasaktan pa rin ako.
hindi naman ako perpekto..
hindi lang ako kasing lakas ng inaakala ninyo.

IT's GOOD TO BE IN LOVE
-frou frou

I don't know where to start
Say I'm tired or throw a party
These cucumber eyes are lying the more that I smile about it
And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throw aways
I don't like it

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every colour goes when you do

I'm adoring you
It's all good
You're so beautiful
I'm black and blue all over




You're breaking my flow, how could you know what I'm saying
about it
When all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throw aways
I don't like it

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every colour goes when you do

I feel so powerless
I've got to stop it somehow
oh come on, what can I do

Why's it happening
How's it happening without me
Why's it happening
How's it happening that he feels it without me

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every colour goes when you do

Happy you're in love
Happy you're in love
I'm happy you're in love

why do you always have to ask the hardest questions.

i'm miserable with you.
i'm miserable without you.

---
i wanted to be yours and yours forever,
but i'm starting to feel like i'm becoming my own enemy.

you make me thread on a divided road,
one leading to your demise, one leading to mine.
either way i'm bound to lose.
so where do i go?

tell me please,
where should i go?

Fine!
Fine!
Fine!
Fine!

sometimes you can be so frustrating..
you're this hard shell, i can't crack..
nakakainis ka..

usual day at work..

i come in (hopefully not late)
check my e-mails.
check my bookings if already confirmed.
and do some serious dalpos (do all things possible for confirming bookings)



"Dalpo Pleeeeaaaaase, Ms. Rc. May OEC na, ready for ticketing."
*i give my biggest smile*
"Sure."


*i cross my fingers and hope the agent won't cancel*

sabi sa Bible study kanina..

All things will pass..
money.. beauty.. fame..
even the people who loves you, or the people you love..
will pass.
but only the Lord, your God will stay with you for all eternity.

another chit chat i think worth sharing.
itago nalang natin sila sa pangalang boy and girl.

***

boy: happy-yappy-happy-woooooooooooo! *smiles*
at least for a moment there i was happy.
and then it hit me....
boy: ano na naman drama yan ha ha ha
girl: well.. ewan.. mejo baliw ako nung time na yan..
hehehhe
boy: mga blogger talaga exhibitionist ng emotions
girl: ahahahahahah. wont hurt anyone
boy: yeah...
boy: you know I once had a blog dyan sa blogspot
girl: o ano nangyari
boy: but I kinda cancelled it
girl: why?
boy: well a friend of mine read my first entry
boy: sabi nya I sounded like I still love my first love after all these years, eh I kinda read it nga. baka may makabasa and think otherwise
girl: really.. he said that..
boy: yeah.. but what I WROTE LANG NAMAN IS HOW i MET MY FIRST LOVE
girl: sayang. hehe diko mababasa. pero oo nga bka mag create ng unwanted commotions
boy: sabi nya reading it, my use of words
parang ang lakas pa ng feelings ko daw ek ek
boy: kaya yan ang problema ng mga blogger, exhibitionist. gusto ipaalam sa mundo feelings nya
girl: hahaha
girl: well not all feelings
girl: since alam mo na may makakbasa na iba.. may mga bagay na dimo nilalagay
boy: well most of it
girl: i have one blog pero di sya open for viewing.
boy: kinda cyber diary
girl: yup.. minsan kse mas nkakapagisip pag nagtytype..
boy: but yung blog entry I kinda kept it
boy: sayang kasi
girl: penge pabasa :) para malaman natin kugn tlgang kahina hinala
boy: sige pabasa ko sayo. paki correct ng grammar. hahaha.
boy: but of cors I hide it from my girlfriend. baka magalit
girl: naku eh kung mabasa
boy: its just a short story I wrote years ago
*girl reading the blog entry*
girl: woah...
girl: haba nga..
girl: hehe..
boy: short story nga eh
girl: heheheh, teka wag ka magulo nagbabasa ako.
boy: ha ha ha
girl: 5th grade.. cute
boy: oh yeah, read it... mababaw lang yan
boy: pop goes my heart
*finishes*
girl: i guess it was the last line that sealed the "im-still-not-over-with-my-first-love" vibe.
boy: siguro.
boy: naging kami nung high school. senior, but she left me for her dreams
girl: ahh yun pla eh
boy: the usual chuva chuva, then nagkita kami nung highschool sa intramuros
boy: yung sequel medyo dark. actually painful
boy: ha ha
boy: kasi its like I keep chasing her. eventhough she love me... parang I keep losing her
boy: until... yung nga...
girl: awww.. damnit.
girl: bloggers.
boy: well you'll never forget your first...
girl: hehehe. true. true.
boy: siya buminyag sa puso mo eh
girl: first cut is the deepest..
boy: I think I still love her...
boy: in some youthful bitter sweet way, eventhough Im with my GF na
boy: and she's with someone else as well
boy: she's still embedded inside of me...
girl: hmmmm.. depends on anong klaseng love..
boy: oh yeah...
girl: siguro kse she reminds you of youth.. mas okay kse nung bata
boy: love is always subjective, suggestive, provacative, insipid
girl: laidback..
boy: of course. and care free...
boy: that love will keep us alive thing
girl: haaaaaay reminiscing..
boy: that we against the world
boy: you jump I jump thing
boy: ha ha ha
boy: so many things you can write about love
girl: sabi nga nila.. once you love, you never stop.
boy: lecheng pagibig to
girl: *chuckles*
boy: you know sometimes.. she would call....
girl: you still keep in touch?
boy: and strange may it sounds or feel.. I think we still have it... but better off hiding it...
girl: onaman.
girl: but.. you know.. i think.. its different with her.. and with your gf..
boy: siguro....
boy: its different
boy: ewan...
girl: kse maybe with her its a feeling of more calm.. more free.. kse you met her when everything is just so so simple.. i mean oo mahirap magin teen.. pero its way way hard to be an adult..
girl: mas complicated..
boy: oo naman...
girl: so i think, thats why everytime you think about her.. its reminds you of a simpler life.. its a good.. nice.. refreshing feeling..
boy: syempre parang time machine yun
girl: yeah. hehehhehe
girl: exactly.. time machine
boy: exactly
girl: magandang metaphor yan
boy: absolutely
boy: hayy...
girl: hehe.
boy: kinda miss her tuloy
girl: haaaay.. tsk tsk. tama na yan.
girl: hehe
boy: ha ha ha
girl: the past makes us who we are
girl: but the present,
girl: that's what will keep us going on.. and on.. and on.
boy: fist love will never die ek ek
girl: chuva
girl: para sakin, its more of.. true loves (no matter how many) never dies.
boy: hahaha
girl: all great love of a person's life leaves a mark. but that doesnt mean, one cannot grow with someone else or is not capable of giving greater love for the one who's willing to receive it and reciprocate it.
girl: ayun.. nagpaka-PWET (poet) na naman ako
girl: anyway.. sarap lang magpaka sensitive at times.
girl: hehe
boy: ayos yan :)
girl: an alternative from a world full of hard boiled eggs
boy: gaga
girl: hahahah
boy: pero oo nga.

*end*

kse ung the rest off-topic na.
wla lang just something to ponder on.

12 Things i should have done before the year 2008 ends.

1. Learn to cook. - para naman lalong swertehen ang future hubby ko.

2. Matuto sa mga short-cut at pasikot-sikot sa mga daanan at kalsada. - kelangan yun para pag magtataxi ako, alam ko na kung san padadaanin.

3. Mag-scuba diving. - hindi ako marunong lumangoy. pero okay lang, may oxygen tank naman. :)

4. Mag-travel ulit. - either sa Cagayan De Oro, or Camiguin.

5. Makabili ng DigiCam. - san kaya ako kukuha ng pambile...

6. Get Fit. - a healthy body equals a healthy mind.

7. A better, stronger and closer relationship with God. - papakabait nako.. promise..

8. Help change someone's life. - its a great great feeling when you know someone breathes even a lil bit better because of you.

9. Try to be on time. - mahirap, pero gagawin ko.

10. Discover a new Talent. - kahit ano, basta kelangan pag may nagtanogn kugn anogn talent ko, may masasagot ako.

11. Love my work. - sabi nga nila, "Pick a job you like, and you'll never work a day in your Life." I hope i find it.

12. LOve and Be Loved. - basta yun na yun.. hehe..