"it's funny, how some dreams you never had can come true."

totoong kung ano pa ung pinapangarap natin, yun pa yung hndi nangyayari. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit.

or minsan ung mga hindi natin ineexpect, yun ang nagaganap.

cguro rin,
dahil pwede ring mangyari sa atin ang higit pa sa pinapangapangarap natin.

maybe..

We deserve more.

INSIDE the University, Marianne Quadrangle.

I watched Nathan, basist of the band Bamboo, casually lit a cigarette while performing..



Im missin Aie.

this is a forwarded e-mail Almira sent me
kahit na forwarded lang sya, i know she meant every word.
and im touched. deeply.

***
I JUST want to say "thank you." Thank you that we were always there for each other. In the short span of time that you've known me and I've known you, our very lives have been open to the other. An open book filled with creases and markings. Even the loose tattered pages we've allowed each other to see and to explore. Those pages whose colors have faded into yellowish brown, filled with cheap adhesive tape just to keep the pieces together. The translucent path covered by the tape bearing memories upon memories of mixed emotions. I have those pages in me. Torn pages from my own hands and from the hands I encountered long before I met you. Pages I've tried to conceal, pages I've tried to forget. But you continued to read on in spite of that. I have beautiful pages inside me too. Colorful pages filled with my own handwriting as I try to put into words the wonderful memories that I simply refuse to let go. You smiled with me as you came along these pages. Silly things that make my eyes water from so much laughter. Thank you for smiling with me as I re-read and relive those wonderful moments. Thank you for allowing me to turn a few pages in you too. I saw the pages that caused you so much pain, and I ached for you. I saw the pages that used to warm your heart, and I feel for you because those moments are no longer part of you now. I came along pages that you've tried to conceal from them, yet you trustfully allowed me to see, and I thank you for that. Thank you for the pages and thank you for the trust. And just when we thought that we had each other all figured out, we realized we're both wrong. For you cannot completely read me, and I, you, for as we turn each other's pages, new pages are born and added. And those pages are filled with both our handwritings. Pages we are yet to read, pages whose contents are still unknown to us. Thank you for marking my life. Though the pages we share are all brand new, they're filled with prints from the wonderful person I've found in you. As we continue to read on, I know there will be pages that will be hard for us to face. But whatever happens, I'll continue to believe in that person I met in the early part of these pages. The person whom I've come to treasure. And after all this is over, as we continue to turn our own pages, until we arrive at the closing chapter of this journey, I'll thank Him who is the author and finisher of this grand story for taking His time writing on those pages I've shared with you. Ours will be one of those pages I'll never get tired of reading, of reliving. Ours will be pages that will never fail to bring tears to my eyes as I recall fond memories. Ours will be pages that will never fail to make me smile. And though our pages are not as intertwined as we sometimes hope they were, though there is no "us" but only me and only you, though the stories are all about these wonderful pages of friendship... still, thank you for taking time to read me. And after all this, I hope that whenever you'll think of my pages, it will bring a smile to your face and add a little warmth in your heart, and you'll say, "That was indeed a good read!"

first day of classes. all went well.

we watched Shrek.
hehe. sobrang laugh trip.

"pinocchio! tell a lie!!"
say something like, ur wearing panties!"
"im wearing panties."
hndi humaba ang nose ni pinochs.
"ur wearing panties??"
"no im not."
sabay humaba ung nose nya.. hahaha!
"he's wearing a thong!!" hehehe, i never laughed that hard.

shrek. priceless. i love shrek tlga.

paid tin. finally.
attended all my classes for the day. (with no lates!)
smiled and laughed.
borrowed a pen (twice).
my crush texting me.
bought a 35 peso meal. (hah!)
watched a feel good movie.
went to starbucks.
ate ice buko.
been around with my best girlfrnds.
went home late, but safe.

bliss.

election day.

i found my name posted on the door, room 4.
nahiwalay pako sa family ko. i dont know why, pero kinailangan ko pa tuloy, pumila ulit sa kabilang room.

mainit.
good thing, may pamaypay ako.

***
"ha?"
wala daw, ung name ko sa list nila.

di ako makapaniwala.
You're kidding me. You can't be saying this to me. Not now.

"pano po nangyari yon, nandun po sa door ung name ko.. pakitingin po ulit, 35-B numbr 28.."

they looked. Wala.

"pano po yan.."
they just looked at me, and shrugged.

huwattt?? ganon-ganon nlang ba yon.
sorry, ur name's not here. Next.

i felt my world crashing.
i felt.. cheated.
pinaghandaan ko tong araw na to. (okay not really)
pero i made it sure to mytself that im goin to make my vote count.
i wont let them get the best of me.
and besides i didn't go there for nothing.
natapakan, nainitan, nasiksik, pumila ng napakatagal..
mauuwi lang sa wala?
darn it.
no i wont let this happen.
BOBOTO AKO.
i stayed there.
i gave them the look.
mga teacher pa nman din kayo..
don't let me down.

******
the teachers asked me to just bring someone there who can prove that i am really a resident of the community.
mas okay daw kung public official.
my father came.
"ako po ang ama." siyet, para akong nawawalang bata.
they made him write into a piece of paper, para daw makasigurado in case something went wrong.

i made my way through the small pews.
im voting.

***
president. check.
vice. check.
darn senators. check.
congressman. mayor. vicemayor.
check. check. check.
getty. check.

relief rush through me, as i scanned my vote.
done. tapos na.
I vote. Therfore, i exist.
haha. basta! nagawa ko na!
nagawa ko ung part ko. naks.
it was, honestly, a great feeling.

haaaay.. im back from Bohol..
malungkot na masaya,

masaya dahil, syempre, im back home. makaksama ko na ulit un family ko. yung mga friends ko na naiwan dito sa manila.
malungkot dahil, kailangan ko na namng harapin ang mga problemang iniwan ko. marami na naman akong iisipin.

Malayo na ako sa paraiso.

kung maririnig mo ang bisaya sa maynila.. nakow, asahan mo, may maririnig ka ring ngisngisang kasunod.
iba sa bohol. lahat ng tao, nagbibisaya. lahat komportableng-komportable sa mga salitang binibigkas nila. at pag ikaw ang nagtagalog.. huh??? you're the odd one. Parang gusto ko ngang matutong magbisaya.. kaso ang hirap. mga simpleng words lang ang natatandaan ko. minsan napagbabalibaliktad ko pa. "lami: sarap" "ambot: ewan" "char: charot/charing/joke" "JRJR: joy ride joy ride" "gerger: sex" "nasabot: naintindihan" expression: "hala, oy.." "sige na bhe.."

nakakatuwa sila.. makikita mo tlga yung effort na makausap ka nila, kahit mejo hirap silang magtagalog. at talagang i-eexplain nila sayo yung mga bisayan words, para maintindihan mo. sila pa yung nahihiya samin. when we should be the ones embarassed.

haaayy.. mababait tlga yung mga tao.. pwera lang yung bosohan issue. bad trip yun.