Courage id Facing Fear in the Eye

Alan Cohen:

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Browsing through the net, i came across profiles of old friends, acquaintances, and some familiar faces. And they say, change is inevitable. They sure have all changed.

I stopped, and checked myself..

What has happened to me in the past years? Did I changed into a person I can be proud of? Have I become the person I've always wanted to be?

Let's see.. I've always wanted to:

be a writer... cross
be a pre-school teacher... cross
be a professional singer... cross cross.
be a clinical psychologist.. cross
be a wife, a mother.. not yet.

be fit, with firm arms, legs, and a killer abs... need more motivation.
be more confident... check
be more independent... partly check.
be more organized... cross.
be more friendly... check.
be wiser... check.

travel more... check.
gain real friends and lose the fake ones... check.
learn how to drive... cross.
learn how to swim... cross.
learn how to cook... trying.
learn how to listen... check.
hate less and to love more... check.
say what I mean, and mean what I say... check.
do the things I am afraid to do... check (some, haha).

Heights. I am afraid of Heights. Walking at an overpass. Leaning over from a 5th floor and above. Riding elevators going over 20th floor. Anchor's Away. Plane rides. Anything that has something to do with my two feet not touching a stable ground. Name it, and you won't find me in my happiest mood.

I was able to face that fear in the eye when we were at Cagayan De Oro. I figured, in my 25th year, I should, by all means, learn to live outside my comfortzone and be able to survive it. All my life i've been trying to be safe.. avoiding being hurt and living a very normal, boring life. And I guess, with that, I realized i was wasting too much of precious time. Life is too short, to be wasted sitting on a rock.

And so I did it.

We went Canopy walking (braving a canopy bridge, below a hundred feet abyss), rapelling, and zip lining (the slide of life). Okay, I was quite the cause of delay of the group. But I was trying. Fear is a bit hard to fight with. A battle not too easy to win. We also braved 14 rapids of the famous CDO river. Armed with only a paddle, a dependable life vest, and a hopeful heart, cramped in a raft (good for only 7 - 8 people), we survived the challenge of the river for a good 2 hours and a half. Then after, We finished with thumping hearts and high spirits. We did it. I did it. I made it out.. Alive. and Changed.

I knew I was a better person after.

And from then on, I knew I can be better.
I can do more, and be better.

And I knew, I'm still afraid of so many things.
But now i know, I can conquer them, if I need to.. If i want to.

:)

Our God is a Mighty God!

Naks.

sabi sayo eh, do your best, and God will do the rest.

Grats Bes! proud of ya! :)

For The Meantime

A fave Forwarded E-mail.

What's a Meantime Girl?

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One".
You know, she's the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does.

But she's cool , and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve.

So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

Silver Year

I'm an Aquarius.
born 4th of February, 1984.

Hurray.
It's my Birthday.
25th Birthday, to be exact.

parang ngayon lang yata nangyari to..
It's my day.. but it feels like it's not.

Problem sa bahay.
Problem sa pera.
Problem sa friend.
Problem sa office.
tumatanda ng walang ipon,
wala pang love life.

haaay.. anubayan.


I opened my yahoo mail, and read my daily horoscope.
wala lang.. i don't really believe in them, pero natutuwa lang akong basahin sya once in a while.

"You shouldn't feel guilty or bad about saying no. In fact, embrace your freedom and ability to stand on your own two feet. Time is tight, so when you're asked to take on more work, consider declining the offer. You need plenty of social space right now."

Haha.
sakto yun ah.

yes.. i need space.
ika nga ni Twinkle.. "Can I breathe?"

itutuloy ko ang leave and travel ko, whatever happens.
i deserved it.
Bahala na pag-uwi.