happy father's day!
ate dinner at a shabu-shabu resto at moa awhile ago with my family.
sip a lot of miso soup,
and drank 3 glasses of red iced tea (had to make the best out of it, bottomless eh)

we decided to go straight to trinoma after.
went picture taking.

nearly rubbed elbows with diether ocampo, jake cuenca, and roxanne guinoo
at an elevator.
diet's cute. (great thing he's not so bulky in person)

bought a new globe simcard.
i got it for 50bucks.
with free 50php load, and 50 free texts.
bargain!

***

i stumbled upon twitter.com
how?
well, i followed my stupid heart again..
and there it was.
staring straight at me.

bang.

bang-bang-bang.

it's like gunshots through a puffy pillow.
no noise.
just pain.

no one heard it,
or felt it..
but me.

found two interesting job positions at jobstreet.

journalist copywriter
employee relations associate

sent my resume to both, and hope for a miracle
if a change in career will change my life
then so be it.

i've always wanted to write.
altough, many times i fail to deliver.
i didn't do anything about my passion in writing
because i felt i wasn't good enough.
so i settled on blogs.
on life journals.
on unsent letters.
on phrases stucked on my mind..
and sometimes forgotten.

i have tons of books i never did get to finish.
notebooks, with the only first page used, and the rest left blank.
i have thoughts, phrases, paragraphs, but never a story.
i'm sort of famous for that.
starting something, and not finishing it.
it began as a habit.
and now it became, me.

***

but i do love writing.
it connects me to my soul,
and bridges me to the people i love.

kept me sane.
it kept me sane.

it's been nearly three months since we've been apart.
a month of it with no communication (text, call, or meet-ups) at all
i am missing him terribly but i can't do anything about it.
because if i did, if i dare lift a hand and call him
or open my lips and say "i need you to come back.."
it'll hurt more.

am i doing the right thing..
or am i giving up on the one thing that felt so real to me.

i waited for him for almost over two years.
i guess the waiting has to end one way or another.