crystal clear 

how life is strange and beautiful..
its been a while since the last time i wrote. i dont know if im just downright busy or just the fact that i have nothing to write about.

yet, a lot happened.
i got a job at an airline company. and i had to admit, it was a whole new world to me..
its been four months since. i got a raise. became on probation. got into the brink of almost giving up on the first real thing that i could be proud of.
meeting old friends and missing them as well.
meeting new friends and having alot of fun.
having things, and losing things.
laughing..
crying..
loving.

all of these.. and yet i did not lift a finger to put it all in black and white..
have i not learned anything?
didn't any of those things mean something to me?
i refuse to see until now.

i read jani's entries..
how life can be strange and beautiful.

..strangely beautiful.

its a mixture of everything.
of unforgivable pain.. and of unexplainable highs..
of bitter loneliness.. and of sweet comfort.
of misunderstandings.. and of patience.
of deep hate.. and of everlasting love.
of haunting pasts.. and hopefull future.
of ignorance.. and of truth.
of desperately needing.. and wholeheartedly sharing.
of looking straight.. and seeing beyond..
of losing something irreplaceable.. and gaining something precious.

life is a state where anything is possible.
where any time you could be the maker or the breaker.
where every decision matters.
where every move is a statement of your being.

and strangely, behind the chaos and the confusion..
the most important thing
is that we get to conquer and live it.