strange and beautiful

I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
Unseen
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realize that you love me

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
But I know that waiting is all you can do
Sometimes

-Aqualung

***

sometimes i wish it could be that easy..
magickin ko kaya.
*twing* *twing*

Naghihintay, kahit parang walang pag-asa
Handa, maghintay kahit pa meron kang iba
Bahala na,
Naghihintay ako na ika'y makasama
Kahit na
Naghihintay kahit parang wala na.

`~.
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' .
`~



parang ayoko na..

***

*sigh*
another wishful thinking..
another fantasy lost..
another broken heart..

***

love makes you do crazy things.
...sometimes it can even surprise you.

***

ayoko na..
ayoko na, ayoko na..
ayoko na..

ayoko na..

`~ . if only saying it
would make me do it.

it's been.. what.. almost a year.

yes, a year, since my last post.

let me refresh.




december oh five:
christmas at my cousins with my family and him.
the whole day was happy. (sorry i had to use the most simple word, for thats the most appropriate word that would fit the feeling)
we ate noche buena. exchanged gifts. i got a bag, a skirt, a pair of earings, bracelets,
(haha, i know, i know.. babaeng bakla??) and some money. (enough to last me a week)
it wasn't extra ordinary. it was a usual fun day.
but it was something to remember, because he was there.
'.
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"when my world seemed dull, i used to look at people who led fascinating lives and wonder.. how did their lives became so sweet. i discovered that they made a start, somewhere. that small start led to something else, and to something else."




january oh six:
new year's eve at home with family, and him.
went to the rooftop to view some fireworks.
(uso ang fireworks nun kaya namili ang tita ko. isa lang. pero 800 pesos na un.)
i filled my tummy with the usual feast,
held his hand, and shouted happy new year to every one.
*smiles*
`.
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"anyone who wants to learn, will learn."




february oh six:
oh well. this is my month.
turned 22. i am getting old.
its was also february
when i cried walking, not knowing where to go..
the first time in my life that i ever felt alone.
'.
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"people need nurturing. no matter how strong, or tough, or intimidating they may be. all of us need to be loved. we need to be felt, we need to be touched, we need some sort of manifestation of love."




march oh six:
i signed my contract. i got my raise. and i was proud of myself.
the pay wasn't that much, but i was smiling from ear to ear.
i did it. and they were impressed.
God is good. :)
'.
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"when the oceans rise and thunders roar, i will soar with you above the storm. Father, you are king over the floods. i will be still know you are God."




june oh six:
went to puerto galera with friends.
it was supposed to be a happy-happy joy-joy experienced, until we realized that we're going to be stranded. huwwwattt??? stranded tayo sa puerto?? may pasok pako bukas!!!! but hey even local storms cannot stop us frm getting our good selves drunk. bestfriends na kami ni jose! :D
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`.
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"i still believe in paradise, but now at least i know it's not some place that you could look for. because it's not where you go.. it's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something. and if you find that moment, it lasts forever.."




august oh six:
oj's birthday. i could have done something great. i could have given him more. but i wasnt able to. i just wanted to make him happy.. i wish i could. good thing hindi umulan, pinagbigyan ni Lord, ung wish ko.
.
`.
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"sana'y maligaya ka lagi.. masaya kasama sa tuwina.. sana maligaya ka lagi.. masaya kasama sa tuwina.. hindi lang kung sa birthday mo ngayon.. kundi na rin sa habang buhay mo.."




october oh six:
i lost a phone again.. yep, you saw that right. another one.
you can call me stupid. anyone who is sane can call me stupid. how could i let myself do that?? *sigh* its done.. and now i'm paying for something i dont have.
thanks squishy, for helping me get through the night.
`.
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"when we fail to learn a lesson, we get to take it again.. and again. once we have learned the lesson, we move on to the next one."