***
i lost it.
again.

***

i lied when i told him, that i wear everyday the bracelet that we both have.
i lied, because i lost it one day..
the day before he told me that it's over between us.

naisip ko.. sign ba yun?

i didn't want it to end.
i didn't want to accept the fact that i've
l
o
s
t
him.
so i tried.
i thought maybe..
he can love me again.
like he
u
s
e
d
to.

i bought another bracelet, just like the one i've lost.

it became my torch of love for him.
as long as it's there.
i know we'd still be intertwined.

***
i called him up on his cellphone.
God knows how many times i did.
but he didn't answer.
maybe he was asleep. antukin yon eh..

i went back to our drinking session.
jerry's funny.
jake's easy in the eyes.
gerard, well he's charming.
here's three guys in my vision, and i still can't get him out of my system.
great.
"tapey."

***
on the way home.
i was looking through the window..
it was peaceful and calm.
the air con was too cold for me
so i reached out to change it's direction.

shit.
the bracelet..
i've lost it again.

***
sign ba 'to?
Lord, just tell me, sign ba 'to?
is this your way of telling me na hindi na tlga dapat..
na kailangan ko nang gumive-up.
is this a sign that says..
I've lost him.
i've lost him long before i lost the bracelet a second time.

i knew the answer..
dati pa.
ayoko lang tanggapin.

***
"tapey."