Courage id Facing Fear in the Eye

Alan Cohen:

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Browsing through the net, i came across profiles of old friends, acquaintances, and some familiar faces. And they say, change is inevitable. They sure have all changed.

I stopped, and checked myself..

What has happened to me in the past years? Did I changed into a person I can be proud of? Have I become the person I've always wanted to be?

Let's see.. I've always wanted to:

be a writer... cross
be a pre-school teacher... cross
be a professional singer... cross cross.
be a clinical psychologist.. cross
be a wife, a mother.. not yet.

be fit, with firm arms, legs, and a killer abs... need more motivation.
be more confident... check
be more independent... partly check.
be more organized... cross.
be more friendly... check.
be wiser... check.

travel more... check.
gain real friends and lose the fake ones... check.
learn how to drive... cross.
learn how to swim... cross.
learn how to cook... trying.
learn how to listen... check.
hate less and to love more... check.
say what I mean, and mean what I say... check.
do the things I am afraid to do... check (some, haha).

Heights. I am afraid of Heights. Walking at an overpass. Leaning over from a 5th floor and above. Riding elevators going over 20th floor. Anchor's Away. Plane rides. Anything that has something to do with my two feet not touching a stable ground. Name it, and you won't find me in my happiest mood.

I was able to face that fear in the eye when we were at Cagayan De Oro. I figured, in my 25th year, I should, by all means, learn to live outside my comfortzone and be able to survive it. All my life i've been trying to be safe.. avoiding being hurt and living a very normal, boring life. And I guess, with that, I realized i was wasting too much of precious time. Life is too short, to be wasted sitting on a rock.

And so I did it.

We went Canopy walking (braving a canopy bridge, below a hundred feet abyss), rapelling, and zip lining (the slide of life). Okay, I was quite the cause of delay of the group. But I was trying. Fear is a bit hard to fight with. A battle not too easy to win. We also braved 14 rapids of the famous CDO river. Armed with only a paddle, a dependable life vest, and a hopeful heart, cramped in a raft (good for only 7 - 8 people), we survived the challenge of the river for a good 2 hours and a half. Then after, We finished with thumping hearts and high spirits. We did it. I did it. I made it out.. Alive. and Changed.

I knew I was a better person after.

And from then on, I knew I can be better.
I can do more, and be better.

And I knew, I'm still afraid of so many things.
But now i know, I can conquer them, if I need to.. If i want to.

:)