for the nth time,
i can't keep myself from doing another blog entry about him.
maybe because, he's been creepin on my mind since.
i said, happily to ava, that i'm gettin by.
i'm finally forgetting.
or so i thought.
and for how many times have i heard myself saying this,
"i'm moving on."
well, i am.
I AM.
its just.. hard.

i know there's nothing left to hold on to.
i know it's over, we're over.
i know now where to stand.
siya na mismo ang may sabi, hindi nya nako mahal.
i know that i'm not the one for him.
i know that i can't ever compare
to those that really had changed his life.
i know i am just someone in his past.
and will remain as that.
i know too much, it kills me.

if there's more..
the memory of him still lingers.
and i am doing my all,
just to push him away from everything that is me.

i'm laughing.
greatful for what i have.
happy? yes i am.
pero kulang..
hndi ko alam kung bakit
pero kulang..
and i don't want to feel incomplete.
i can alreasy hear myself saying
"you're complete.
and you don't need anybody para ma-feel yun.
ano ka ba?"
kulang lang cguro yung saya
kulang lang cguro, dahil na-mimiss ko sya..

what hurts the most is when finally you realized
you we're just someone.
just someone.
that while he still occupies what seems to be the biggest part of you,
you, on the other hand, is just another page of his life.
masayang basahin, masarap balikan,
pero hanggang dun nalang.

i have the tendency to repeat myself.
repeat. repeat. repeat.
have mercy on me.

****
pasensya na sa mkakabasa. pauli-ulit na ba. blogs are supposed to be your outlet. kailangan lang mailabas.