i thought i would never feel it again..
or if i would, it thought it wouldn't hurt that much

i keep convincing myself not to.
feel numb.
feel numb.

feel numb.

please..
feel numb.

you can't do this..
you cant do this every night..
hide under your sheet while every one's asleep
and cry..
like a baby..

*****

it shocked me still..
i dont know why but it does..
maybe because i fooled myself into believing
that i would be someday enough..

+++

i copied the messages
and stored it in our pc's documents..
...and in my heart..
to remind me every time..
to make me numb..